The Darkest Caress
by AvariceN'Spice
Summary: Torin, ancient warrior and keeper of disease, only meant to waste a few minutes in a chatroom. Penelope, computer geek and baking junkie, only wanted someone to talk to. But the Fates have a funny way of twisting things and they've decided that it's finally time for Torin to find some happiness. (Discontinued Until Further Notice)
1. Chapter 1

Okay so for this story we're going to pretend that the timeline for LOTU starts on the same year that the first book came out. (2008) So yah. I've only read a few of the books, so please tell me if you see something I should add. The first few chapters will be Torin and my character communicating through out the years. They will be very short, but I want to create a dynamic between them before they meet in person. Please bear with it for a while, and tell me what you think. If anyone wants to be my beta reader and help me with storyline and keeping Torin in character, then PLEASE contact me.

_**Chapter 1: Even The Most Complicated Of Things Start Out Simple**_

_**April 10**__**th**__**, 2008**_

"_And this is how it looks when I am standing on the edge_

_And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground_

_And this is how it hurts when I pretend I don't feel any pain_

_And this is how I disappear when I throw myself away"_

Nel mouthed the words to the song as she stared at her computer. She watched pictures pass on the blue background and smiled when a few caught her interest. She reblogged the ones that made her laugh, meant something, or just generally caught her interest. After about fifteen minutes, she was fully engrossed in this cycle. She was so engrossed, in fact, that she almost didn't hear the small 'bing'.

She spent a second confused before she realized where it was coming from. She flitted through her tabs before pulling up the window containing a chat room. She'd opened it up more than a few weeks ago, and after about 2 hours she'd given up on finding anyone remotely interesting to talk to. She usually left it open just for the hell of it. It didn't bother her, or anyone else, so she didn't see any harm in it. Besides, as long as she remained idle, no one would bother her anyway. It seemed, however, that someone had deemed _her_ interesting enough to talk to.

Slightly weary, she began to type back.

**Tor: TAO?**

**Tor: Hello?**

**010101000100000101001111: What?**

**Tor: TAO? You went through all that trouble to put it in binary code. What does it stand for?**

Nel sat back in her worn office chair and blinked owlishly. She hadn't expected anyone to actually understand her obscure screen name. Thinking back on it though, she probably should have. What with her being on the internet and all, someone had to get it eventually.

**010101000100000101001111: You can actually read it?**

**Tor: Yes. **

**010101000100000101001111: Really?**

**Tor: Yes. Now are you ever going to answer my question?**

**010101000100000101001111: It's just something stupid. **

**Tor: Well it can't be stupid if it meant enough for you to choose it.**

**010101000100000101001111: Touché my friend. It's just an acronym. **

**Tor: Your name?**

**010101000100000101001111: Not quite. It's more of an embodiment. It stands for 'The Awkward One'**

**Tor: Hahaha, why would you choose that of all things?**

**010101000100000101001111: Weren't you listening? It's an embodiment of me. I'm awkward as fuck.**

**Tor: Language**

**010101000100000101001111: What about it?**

**Tor: You should watch it.**

**010101000100000101001111: Why? It seems you're already doing it for me.**

**Tor: Someone's witty.**

**010101000100000101001111: So I've been told. Try to keep up.**

Nel smiled and prepared herself for a night of typing.

Miles and miles away, a pale haired man did the same.


	2. Chapter 2

_Yo. Thanks for the reviews guys! They inspire me to want to write more! Hope you guys enjoy, and this one is MUCH longer than the first chapter. Please tell me what you all think, and be sure to leave suggestions on how to make it better _

_**Chapter 2: Faces Can Be Deceiving, But Words Are Even More So**_

**July 7****th****, 2010**

Nel walked to her house in a hurry. If she was lucky, she'd catch her friend before he went to bed for the night. Or got up for the morning. Whichever. Tor kept odd hours, but then again, so did she. Although out of the two of them, she was probably the one who should've been going to bed on time.

Not that he knew that. In fact, to be perfectly honest she didn't _really_ know if his hours were that odd. She didn't know where he was from, or even his age, but that didn't really matter to her. She wasn't looking for a boyfriend or anything else like it. Because of that, she couldn't care less whether he was 10, 18, or 52. As long as he continued to amuse her, and be a good friend she was fine. He hadn't asked for anything personal, and so in turn neither had she. She had, however, given him her name voluntarily. It wasn't her full name, so she hadn't seen any harm in it.

They'd mostly talked about pop culture, likes, computers, and dislikes for the last two years. To be honest, she hadn't known you could argue so thoroughly over who was the best Robin. She hadn't known that it was possible to talk to a person whom you've never met for over two hours almost weekly either. She also hadn't known how to hack into a government database before she met Tor, but that was a whole other cup of tea. At this point though, she didn't really care if he knew what state she lived in. It wasn't like he could find her anyway.

Once home, Nel walked briskly to her room, making sure to lock the front door behind her. Truth be told, she couldn't wait to talk to Tor. He was witty, and he always replied, even if it took him a day or two. Plus he got her jokes, and didn't take offense when she started cussing like a sailor. Well, outside his obvious need to call her out on her language that is.

She was so engrossed in her thoughts of her new friend; she almost didn't notice Ms. Liv in the living room. She was halfway through her doorway when Ms. Liv's voice startled her enough to slam into the door frame. Wincing, she turned around.

"You okay darlin'?" Ms. Liv asked from her place at the beginning of the hallway. She had an amused smirk on her pretty face.

Nel nodded with a blush on her face and gave her a small smile. She was pretty clumsy at the best of times, and she hated the fact that there were almost always people there to see it. It probably had to do with the fact that she was so easily distracted. Nevertheless, she had better things to do then dwell on her shortcomings.

With another smile to Ms. Liv, she went into her room and locked the door. Now normally Ms. Liv didn't allow locks on the doors, but over the years Nel had earned her trust. Plus, Nel had some valuable stuff in her room that she'd rather not find the other kids with. When she'd told Ms. Liv about her concerns, instead of coming home to a lock box or a safe like they'd talked about, she'd come home to a shiny new lock on her door. Nel had been absolutely ecstatic, and she relished the thought that she wouldn't have to worry about the other kids going through her stuff anymore. Ms. Liv didn't tolerate thievery or privacy invasions, but she couldn't always stop it either.

While Nel waited for her laptop to start up, she hunted through her snack drawer for something to snack on. She pulled out a bag off apple crisps before logging on to her user. She'd exchanged emails with Tor some time ago so that they wouldn't have to worry about chatrooms. After a few minutes, she had everything set up and ready to go. She typed a quick hello, before starting on her homework. It'd probably be a while before Tor replied, and she needed something to keep her occupied.

._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._.

Torin sat silently in front of his computer monitor, hands clasped beneath his chin. For what seemed like the millionth time in the last hour or so, he'd found his mind wondering towards an odd girl with quick wit. He'd been busy with more important things, but he'd seen her little message around 6 am. Now it was 8, and he'd decided to finally reply.

His only dilemma was that he didn't know what to say. He could just reply with a 'How was your day?' or a "Hello.", but that wouldn't be very interesting. Half of the appeal that talking to Nel held was the fact that she was so quick on her feet. If you shot something at her, she shot right back. It was probably one of his only sources of amusement these days.

Smirking to himself, Torin finally decided to stop overthinking things and just message back before she went to sleep.

**Tor: You awake?**

**010101000100000101001111: Nope. I'm typing subconsciously. Aren't I the best?**

**Tor: I don't know. I've seen some pretty amazing things.**

**010101000100000101001111: Like what?**

**Tor: Nothing you'd be interested in.**

**010101000100000101001111: How will I know what I will or will not be interested in unless you tell me?**

**Tor: Trust me on this one, Nel.**

**010101000100000101001111: Pssshhh. How can I trust someone when I've never even seen they're face? Besides, you're just deflecting. If you don't want to tell me, you don't have to. :P**

**Tor: I'm not deflecting anything.**

**010101000100000101001111: Aren't you?**

Torin smiled softly to himself. Yah, this girl was interesting. Now that he thought about it though, she was right. She'd never seen his face, she didn't really know his name. She knew virtually nothing about him, except what he'd shown her through his words.

It was a bit unfair, considering the fact that he'd researched her the moment they'd started talking. He hadn't really wanted to do it, but it was necessary. The Hunters had sent women directly to the mountain in the past, what was to stop them from trying to get to him through the internet? The very real threat had prompted him to check the girl's background, and what he'd found had melted his heart. After reading up on her, he'd realized that even Hunters couldn't have simply 'created' her. She was a real person, who had a real personality, who wasn't sent to try and kill him. It was a nice thought. It was only too bad that she could never be a true friend.

Although… After the deep invasion of privacy, she deserved to know a little bit about him in return. She was old enough now anyway. Besides, he'd wanted to see her reactions to their exchanges for a long time now. The words simply weren't enough.

**Tor: Do you have a web cam?**

Torin knew she did, but it was polite to ask.

**010101000100000101001111: Why? **

He smiled. It made him happy that she was weary, as strange as it sounded. The world could be a horrible place.

**Tor: I was thinking we could chat face to face, even if it can't be in person.**

It could never be in person.

**010101000100000101001111: I have a cam…. But are you sure you want to do that?**

**Tor: What makes you think I don't? **

**010101000100000101001111: I dunno. You've never been very forthcoming with information before. Seems like a pretty big leap to be showing your ugly mug off like that. I mean I could come and hunt you down with that kind of material. **

**Tor: If I was worried about any of that, I wouldn't be asking. **

Torin leaned close to the monitor and rested on his forearms while he waited for her to reply. He had his gloves off for the moment, but he was alone in his room, and he had the door locked. His gloves were within close reach in case of emergencies though.

Almost three minutes passed before Nel replied.

**010101000100000101001111: Okay.**

**Tor: Yes?**

**010101000100000101001111: Yeah. **

**Tor: What took you so long? **

**010101000100000101001111: Had to set up my camera. You need some time to set yours up?**

**Tor: No. I already have it done.**

**010101000100000101001111: Wow, you were just expecting me to say yes weren't you?**

**Tor: Something like that. I'm going to open up video now.**

**010101000100000101001111: Kay. Don't laugh at me.**

**Tor: Why would I laugh?**

**010101000100000101001111: Because I'm awkward. I thought we had this conversation already?**

**Tor: I promise I won't.**

And he wouldn't. He valued their companionship too much to compromise it in any way.

**010101000100000101001111: Kay.**

**010101000100000101001111: And Tor?**

**Tor: Yes?**

**010101000100000101001111: Just to be clear next time you don't want to tell me something, just say that you don't want to tell me. You don't have to go into aversion mode level 90000.**

Torin didn't know how to respond to that, so he shook his head, and adjusted his camera. He was glad that he had his gloves off and his hair pulled back. If she asked about his hair, he could play it off as dye, but the gloves would be hard to explain. Especially since he had already told her he wasn't into cosplay. After turning down the brightness on his monitor, Torin opened up the video chat program.

He could feel his heart beating in excitement, and he took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. Nel was just a friend, but she was the first friend he'd made in years, not counting the confusing thing he had going on with Cameo. She was the first friend he'd had the courage to make in years. Perhaps it was because internet friendships required no physical contact, and they were socially accepted these days, or maybe it was because he was getting lonely since the Lords all seemed to be gaining new lovers. Whatever it was, he was glad for it. It finally allowed him to have a little bit of the interaction he'd been craving for centuries. He'd gotten lucky with Nel though, and he'd thanked the Gods for that.

Lost in his reverie, he'd looked away from the screen and at a blank spot on his wall. It probably would have taken him much longer to look back at his computer if it wasn't for the soft 'oh' that came from the state of the art speakers on his computers. Slightly surprised, he turned his stare towards the screen. His cool green gaze softened as he met soft, stunned brown. He could tell that he was not what Nel had expected. To be fare though, she was not what he had expected either.

He'd briefly seen a picture of her when he'd looked into her files, and he hadn't ever stopped to really think of how much she would have changed in the last two years. Or how little.

The picture he'd seen had depicted curly haired, chubby cheeked 16 year old with a generous smattering of freckles across her tan skin. The wide eyed expression she'd worn in the picture had made her look all the younger. Torin vaguely remembered thinking at one point that her expression had to have been practice, because there was no way someone could look _that_ innocent. Looking at her now though, he knew that any projection of purity she gave off was completely effortless.

It seemed that even at 18 she still had the looks of someone much younger. Her face had slimmed slightly, but still remained round, and the freckles she'd had two years ago had only multiplied, giving her skin the look of creamy cocoa sprinkled with cinnamon. Her brown eyes seemed even larger than they already were behind a plain pair of black glasses, and even with her hair in a tight ponytail, stray curls escaped from their confines to frame her face. Suddenly, Torin caught his eyes roaming lower and he cursed silently. Despite all else, the obvious swell of her chest definitely signified that she was a maturing women.

He swallowed thickly and forced his gaze back up to her face. She was staring straight at him, which signified that her eyes hadn't been roaming as his had. There was an awkward silence. Suddenly he found himself feeling guilty, and he decided to break the tension.

"So, you still think my mug is an ugly one?"

He'd expected a snarky come back, or at least a normal answer. Instead, he watched as her face darkened from its natural mocha color to a reddish hue that burned all the brighter on her freckled cheeks. Instead of being disappointed in her offline attitude, he found himself smiling.

The blush… Looked good on her, it put life in her cheeks, made her seem all the more real. He liked it. Suddenly Torin found himself wanting to make her do it as often as possible. If all it took was a few offhanded remarks, then it would be remarkably easy. As he thought of ways to make her skin tint red, he abruptly found his mind wondering to less than pure places. Even stained with the color of her blush, her skin still looked perfect to him. Torin wondered what if it would feel as soft as it looked against his fingertips. Or better yet his lips, perhaps even his tongue. Maybe if he licked and nipped his way down the smooth column of her neck, that delicious blush of hers would spread all the way to-

"I dunno, I was just trying to see through all the damn gloom you surround yourself in. Don't they have lights where you're at?"

He shivered as Nel pulled him out of his thoughts once again. God, he was quickly turning into the very type of person Nel had been trying to avoid online the day they'd met. A sick fucking pervert. He couldn't believe it, but she was getting him hot and they hadn't even talked for a solid five minutes.

Torin took a deep breath and reminded himself of a few very crucial facts.

She was only 18.

They may have been talking for over 2 years, but she would never be able to learn every detail of his life like Cameo and the other Lords.

He could never touch her anyway.

He had Cameo. He would not make it a habit of trying to seduce every female that bothered to talk to him.

Significantly cooled off, he laughed, and basked in the sound of her voice. It was a warm, soft sound. He thought it fitting, considering her looks. Tonight, he would keep his mind on one thing, and one thing only: having a conversation with someone who didn't look at him like he was a disease. Even when in all actuality, he was.

"Yes, Nel. We have lights here in Budapest."

Torin watched as Nel's eyes widened and her mouth hung open a little. He decided that telling her his location would benefit them both at this point. She would finally be able to send her messages at better times.

"You live in _Budapest_?" she asked.

He laughed at her obvious tone of amazement.

"Yes, is there a problem with that?"

"No- I mean wowza, you live like, _extremely _far away. How big is the time difference there? I mean I live in Washington. Am I keeping you up? I'm sorry if I am. You can go to sleep if-"

"Okay stop."

Torin had to cut her off. She'd started rambling in a quiet breathless voice, and he'd almost had a hernia trying to keep himself from laughing at the poor girl. Her face was screwed up with embarrassment, and her blush still hadn't quite gone away. He gathered his thoughts before they could wonder again, and he prepared to answer her questions.

"The time difference is about 9 hours, and no you're not keeping me up. If anything, _I'm_ keeping _you _up. How old are you anyway, 12?"

He already knew she was 18, but she didn't know that. Torin thought it would be a good idea to ask her about the things he shouldn't have known before he slipped up. Besides, he couldn't resist cracking that joke, and he needed a reminder of exactly how young she really was.

" I'm 18, dumbass. How old are you, 72? I mean from what I can see you've got the whole white hair thing going pretty well."

To his astonishment, she managed to flip him the bird and thoroughly tell him off, all with a blush and that tiny voice of hers. This time, he couldn't keep himself from laughing. He was used to her wisecracks and language online, in typed form, but it seemed in real life they were quite at odds with her appearance.

"I thought you said you weren't gonna laugh at me?" she mumbled while hiding her mouth behind her sleeve.

Torin only laughed harder. By the time he finally calmed down, she had moved her hand slightly and he could tell that she was smiling slightly at him. He gave her a wide smile in return, even though she probably couldn't see it in the low lighting.

"I'm not 72." He told her, still grinning. By answering her questions, he was setting himself up for a game of truths, lies, and half truths.

"Oh? Then how old are you then?"

"I'm thousands of years old."

It was the truth.

She snorted at him and rolled her eyes.

"No really, Tor. How old are you?"

He spent a second thinking of a reasonable age before he replied.

"I'm 24, unlike you I'm old enough to swim with the big boys instead of getting kicked out to the kiddie pool."

Lie. But he'd told her the truth and she hadn't believed him, so he didn't feel bad about that one.

"Oh I bet you like that don't you? All those mature firm asses in swimsuits to lust over."

The blush was back full blast, but she was grinning like a madman behind her sleeve.

He'd never actually swam in a swimming pool, let alone with other people. He wouldn't until they found all the artifacts, maybe not even then.

"I've got to say, I do love a good bikini."

But she didn't need to know that.

"I don't know Tor, I wouldn't put a dude in a bikini myself, but whatever floats your boat I guess."

"Who said anything about males?"

"Oh I just assumed. Am I wrong?"

Tor crossed his arms and leaned back, getting a bit more comfortable before continuing their conversation.

"Do I really give off that kind of impression? Because I assure you, I love ladies, _very_ thoroughly."

Okay he hadn't meant for his voice to sound so husky when he said that.

"I bet."

Especially since Nel was now averting her gaze awkwardly.

Torin decided it was time for a change of topic.

"So I've been trying to come up with a new prank to pull on my friend's"

She immediately brightened and his breath caught when an excited light made her dark eyes shine.

"The one's you live with? I remember you said once that you live in a big house and have a lot of roommates. "

"Yeah, something like that. Anyway, do you have any ideas?"

Once again her face flushed, and he realized that it was going to be an extremely common occurrence.

"Well didn't you order all those blow up dolls once? And aren't a lot of the guys married now? And didn't you say they left a lot?"

"Yes and yes and yes."

Oh he really wanted to see where she was going with this.

"I know this is going to sound weird, but is there any way you could get customizable blow up dolls? Except of the guys this time, and the next time they leave, right before they come back plant their blow up doll look alikes in their beds with a sign that says 'You've been replaced'."

That would definitely piss off his over possessive friends, and Torin could do nothing but grin at the blushing female who sat in front of her own computer screen thousands of miles away. There was a reason why they got along so well.


	3. Chapter 3

_Hello to all! This one's shorter than the last, sorry x.x_

_Anyway, I just wanted to thank lovetayrn for her wonderful review. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :3 Stalk my story as much as you want _

_Happy reading all. Please leave feedback._

_**Chapter 3: You're (Not) My Addiction**_

**October 18****th****, 2010**

Nel sat half dead in her desk chair as she and Torin typed back and forth. It was nearly 4 am, but she just couldn't seem to end the conversation. She was going to be a complete zombie at her lectures tomorrow, but talking to Torin was worth it.

Over the past few months they'd video chatted a handful of times, but in that time she'd managed to learn more personal things about her friend then she had in two years. Even when not on video, they'd talked about things like their living habits; she kept her living space mostly in order, while his looked like a common frat house. They talked about clothing styles; his was more of a 'wear plain things that cover my skin' kind of look, hers was a 'wear whatever's the most comfortable'. They'd also touched on more personal things, like familial situations. It seemed that both of them were sensitive about the issue, however, because they'd both divulged the bare minimum. Nel had said she was in foster care, but not why. Torin had said he had no living blood relatives, but not what happened to them. Neither one of them had pried after that.

Tonight's topic had veered into the 'sensitive subject' side of things for the first half of the night. Well, at least to her it was. After all, one didn't talk about sex with an awesome guy every day. Nel didn't know how or when, but somehow their conversation had deviated from social ideologies to sex.

She'd been extremely embarrassed when he'd brought it up, but she'd soldiered on. She was 19 dammit, she could handle this. At that moment, Nel had been tremendously glad that they hadn't been video chatting; if they had, she probably would have died on the spot. In the following hour she'd learned that Torin was indeed completely straight, but that he'd never slept with a woman. The very thought had boggled her mind, and it still did. Torin was an awesome guy, and from his response when she asked she could tell that he seemed to have a pretty healthy libido.

And then there was the little fact that Torin was completely gorgeous. From what she could see in the dim lighting Torin insisted on being in, he was exquisite. The first time she'd seen him, Nel had been absolutely shocked. She'd been expecting a skinny kid with a monitor tan worse than hers; instead she'd been presented with a guy so achingly beautiful that it'd shocked her to her very core. His skin was such a pale color that it looked almost sickly, but when paired with those wicked green eyes of his it only added to his allure. To top off his ethereal looks, he had hair that put even the purest of snow to shame with its flawless white color. The fact that Nel had never really paid attention to a guy's physical features before only cemented how striking his looks were.

All in all Torin had been absolutely stunning. The revelation had frightened her at first. Over the years she'd learned that guys half as good looking as him just didn't associate with girls like her, and she had been worried that he'd stop talking to her now that he'd seen her not so magnificent face. She was pleasantly surprised, however, when Torin had carried on normally, as if nothing had changed between them. And truly, nothing had. Though their individual personalities had made their communication face to face a little bit different, but the dynamic had still been the same. For that, she was extremely appreciative.

Nel let out a jaw cracking yawn and turned back to the conversation.

**Tor: So what're you wearing?**

In an attempt not to wake anyone, Nel smothered her laugh in her arm. They'd been talking about odd pajama choices for the last few minutes, and it seemed Torin had moved on to her.

Truthfully she was only in some baggy pajama bottoms and sweatshirt, but she couldn't resist yanking his chain a little. She blushed scarlet as she began to type at lightening speeds before she lost her nerve.

**010101000100000101001111: A bubblegum pink thong and 6 inch stilettoes. **

**Tor: Really?**

Nel grinned at his response; she could almost imagine the undeniable disbelief the word would carry in that deep voice of his.

**010101000100000101001111: What do you think?**

**Tor: I think that you hate pink and you call thongs butt floss. **

**010101000100000101001111: True and true.**

**Tor: So what are you ACTUALLY wearing?**

Nel glanced down at the disaster that was her favorite sweatshirt. She'd been wearing it while making muffins earlier, and now the black cotton was dusted in a fine layer of white.

**010101000100000101001111: Flour.**

**Tor: Flour?**

**010101000100000101001111: Yes. It's a fine white powder made from wheat and generally used in baking.**

**Tor: I'm well aware of that, Nel, but what I don't know is why exactly you're WEARING it.**

**010101000100000101001111: I wanted some muffins.**

**Tor: What does that have to do with anything?**

**010101000100000101001111: Flour goes into muffins.**

**Tor: Really, Nel? I like computers, that doesn't mean I wear circuits. **

**010101000100000101001111: You should. Think of all the wonderful trends you'd start.**

**Tor: Not likely.**

**010101000100000101001111: Psssh, come on Torin, grow a pair. Defy the laws of fashion! Be the ultimate computer geek god created you to be!**

**Tor: I hate to break it to you Nel, but I don't believe in your god.**

**010101000100000101001111: Oh? Who do you believe in then?**

Nel was curious now. They hadn't talked much about religion, and for good reason. Nel just wasn't much of a Jesus freak. She believed in a higher power, sure, but she never really took the time to limit herself to one god.

**Tor: I guess you would have to say I 'worship' in the Greek Gods. Though I gave up praying to them long ago.**

Nel blinked. Well that was surprise, not many people worshiped the Greek Gods these days. Besides that, the fact that Torin lived in Budapest made it even stranger. Although, he could have grown up in Greece for all she knew. Obviously he wasn't a native of Budapest, but that wasn't something she needed to worry about at the moment. She could mule over that particular subject later.

The more Nel thought about it, the more she figured having a friend who worshiped the Greek Gods was kind of cool. It was different, but cool.

**010101000100000101001111: That's cool. I've never met someone of your religion before.**

**Tor: Yes you have. Me. We met more than 2 years ago.**

Nel rolled her eyes.

**010101000100000101001111: Shut up smartass.**

**Tor: I'm not talking. I'm typing. There's a difference.**

**010101000100000101001111: Same difference.**

**Tor: Not really.**

**010101000100000101001111: Okay really Tor, leave it before I come find you and shove a muffin up your butt.**

**Tor: And they say I'm a freak. But I'll leave it alone; I wouldn't want one of your gross muffins anywhere near me.**

Nel narrowed her eyes. She would address the whole people calling Torin a freak thing later. Right now it was time to wage war.

**010101000100000101001111: Did you just insult my baking skills?**

**Tor: You mean the ones you make up in your head?**

**010101000100000101001111: I'll have you know that my chocolate pecan pies are the most delicious things on this Earth, and my white chocolate macadamia cookies are enough to put a person into a bliss induced coma.**

**Tor: Someone's testy.**

**010101000100000101001111: Damn straight. My baking is the best.**

**Tor: Too bad that I can't taste those coma inducing cookies.**

Nel chewed on her lip absentmindedly. She loved baking, that was a fact, but she loved baking for her friends and family even more. Granted at this point was the only one she baked for these days, but she'd love to give something to Torin. He was her friend, maybe even her best friend, and giving him something would make her extremely happy. Unfortunately, there were a couple of problems. Torin lived in Budapest, and she didn't have his address.

In an attempt to stop hear dismay from spreading, Nel decided to look at the brighter side of things. Maybe if she told Torin her idea, he'd figure something out. Between the two of them there had to be a way.

**010101000100000101001111: Well maybe I can send some to you?**

**Tor: That would be amazing, but do you think they would make it all the way over here?**

Nel hadn't exactly taken time to think about that. Now that he brought it up, though, they wouldn't. But she could make something that would.

Nel yawned loudly and stretched. As soon as they worked this out, she had to go to sleep. If she didn't, she was going to pass out on her keyboard and then sleep straight through her alarm.

**010101000100000101001111: No… But I can make something else. You've had thumbprint cookies right?**

**Tor: No actually. **

**010101000100000101001111: Oh god we really need to get you educated on the wonderful art that is food. I'm sending you thumbprint cookies and there will be no if, ands, or buts about it.**

**Tor: How are you planning on doing that without an address?**

**010101000100000101001111: You're going to give me one. Duh.**

**Tor: What makes you so sure I'm just going to go giving out my address like that?**

**010101000100000101001111: Well either you give it to me, or I waste valuable time tracking your ass down. And I know you know I can do it.**

And she could. He taught her how to advance her computer skills to almost scary levels.

**Tor: Fair enough. I'd rather not have it shipped to the house though. The guys might eat it.**

**010101000100000101001111: You have horrible friends. I'm jealous. But if you really think they'll eat your cookies, I'll hide them under some wrapping paper or something.**

**Tor: They're actually not that bad once you get to know them. And something tells me that's not going to work, so I'll just have to make sure to get to them before anybody else.**

**010101000100000101001111: You do that. I'm dead right now though, so once I write down the address I'm going to sleep.**

**Tor: You're really going to leave me all alone like this?**

**010101000100000101001111: Yes. Suck it up buttercup.**

For what seemed like the millionth time in 15 minutes, Nel yawned.

'Yah,' she thought, 'it's definitely time to go to bed.'

She pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and jotted down the address Torin had sent. After sticking it in a place where prying eyes couldn't get it, she said goodnight to Torin and got in her bed. Pulling the covers around herself, she curled up in a ball and closed her eyes. Class would be horrible tomorrow, but she always had Torin to look forward to afterwards. And baking. There was always baking.


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey guys, sorry for the wait. I want you to know that I appreciate all the support SO much, you'll never know. I love you guys, really. And has anyone seen the new cover for The Darkest Touch? Hot damn I thought I'd died and gone to hell because nothing in heaven is that sinfully delicious! Anyway, please read and enjoy! Be warned, this one is a touch angstier than what I've written thus far._

_**Chapter 4: The People That Know You The Best Are The Ones That Will Tear You Apart**_

**February 27****th****, 2011**

Her mind felt blank. It was refreshing in a way. For the first time in a long time, everything was at a total calm. In all honesty, Nel knew it was probably better that way. After all, the alternative was to scream off into the distance at the unfairness of it all. But that alternative wasn't appealing at all. At least not to her.

Content in her silence, Nel closed her eyes and leaned back into the worn leather of Ms. Liv's couch. She could hear the soft buzz of voices murmuring around her, but the sound was nothing more than a minor disturbance in the calm waters of her mind. If she just ignored it, no one would bother her. After years surrounded by Ms. Liv's foster kids, she'd learned that that was just the way things worked

After a while, she noticed the sounds begin to steadily increase. Still, she ignored it. Finally, the noise stopped, and Nel was left alone to sit in her peace.

Though it felt like only minutes, Nel finally opened her eyes to see that the sun had set and she was now sitting in a dimly lit room. After her hours of blessed silence, it seemed her mind was ready to boot back up. Stray thoughts came rushing back in droves, and belatedly she realized that Ms. Liv sat seated in the plush arm chair in front of her.

It was obvious she'd been there for a while due to her positioning. Her head was cradled in her palm, and her eyes were drooped shut. Nel swallowed at the sudden dryness in her throat and moved to get up.

It appeared that sudden movements were a no go, however, because the moment she stood she could feel the stiffness in her bones. She groaned softly and tried to stretch.

"_Note to self," _she thought, "_do not ever sit still for that long again."_

Nel carefully made her way over to Ms. Liv and tapped her shoulder. The blonde woman jumped, but immediately calmed down when she realized that it was just Nel. The woman gave Nel a sheepish smile before quickly getting up as well.

Once standing, Ms. Liv gave Nel a large hug. Nel smiled slightly, and raised one hand to wrap around Ms. Liv in return. After a moment, Ms. Liv let go to look Nel in the eye.

"It shouldn't have happened that way, I'm sorry."

Her voice was soft, but it wouldn't have mattered to Nel if the woman had been screaming in fury. She didn't want to think about it at the moment. In fact, she didn't want to think of anything much at all.

Biting her lip, Ember slipped her hands into Ms. Liv's and stepped back.

"I'm okay, I think I'm just going to go to my room for the night though."

"Are you sure? I mean you just slept for three hours. Are you tired already?" Ms. Liv replied, looking slightly concerned.

Blushing, Nel opened her mouth to reply.

"I uh, I wasn't asleep."

Ms. Liv looked at her for a moment before giving her a watery smile and shaking her head.

"Fine then, go to sleep. If you need anything don't hesitate to wake me up okay?" she said gently, dropping Nel's hands.

Nel watched her go. Right when she reached the door of her room, she turned around and left Nel with one last thing.

"We're all going to miss her you know."

And with that she was gone.

Nel settled her hand on her stomach in an attempt to stop its incessant churning before turning to enter her room. She'd been feeling off all day, a sort of sluggishness in her bones that hadn't been there before. She felt it now more than anything, however. She was moving much slower than she normally would have, and the seconds it should have taken to slide her key into the lock on her door seemed to take hours. Once the door was open she slid inside and locked the door behind her. She'd made a point not to look at the door directly across from hers.

With a tired sigh, began the motions to ready for bed. Out of nothing more than habit, she started up her computer before unbuttoning her shirt. She hadn't bothered to turn on her lamp, as the luminescence of her computer screen was more than enough light for her to slip into her pajamas.

The soft material of her worn t shirt felt good against her skin, as always. Nel reached up to pull the clip out of her hair before sitting down in front of her computer. She felt her previously tightly confined curls spring free and settle in a frizzy mass at her shoulders. As always, she hadn't bothered to tame her mane, and instead opted to pull them back tight with a strong clip. As a result, her scalp was sore and she slipped her hand into her tresses to massage away the tenderness.

Nel glanced at the drawer containing her plethora of snacks, but for once, she wasn't hungry. This probably should have alarmed her, because usually she was _always_ hungry, but she couldn't muster up the ability to care.

After a moment, Nel looked towards her screen to see that everything was all set up. After weeks of having to waste precious seconds waiting for her email to open up so that she could check for messages, she'd finally just rigged her computer to open email on startup along with google. Adjusting to a more comfortable position, Nel put her hand on her mouse and opened up her inbox.

She was only mildly surprised to find various emails and chat invites from Torin. She hadn't been on in a while. She opened them one by one, and read passively as each became slightly more worried. They started off with simple things like 'Hi' or 'What are you doing?' ,but after about a week they escalated to 'Are you okay?', until finally a month later there was ' I know you're not dead, I checked. So what's going on?'. The last one was funny. In fact, it probably would have made her smile. It should have.

Nel supposed he had a right to be worried considering she had never before taken more than a day to respond back to him, but at the moment, she could do nothing more than be passive about the whole situation.

She was probably spending too much time with him anyway. At least, that's what Rosa had said. Rosa had once spent hours telling her how weird it was that she talked to a guy who wasn't even her own age at least once every day without fail. Hell, the girl made it her goal to try to get Nel to spend a bit of time with 'actual people who don't live a bazillion miles away in some weird fucking place that is probably not really where he lives because hello, who tells the truth about anything online these days?' as the Latina had once so eloquently put it.

At the thought of her friend, Nel swallowed back what little breakfast she'd managed to consume that morning. She took a deep breath, and typed back a reply.

**010101000100000101001111 : I'm fine.**

It was short, and probably less than what he was expecting, but it would have to do. Knowing it would probably take him a bit of time to see her message, she prepared to do the only thing she'd been wanting to do since buttoning up her black shirt that morning: curl up in her bed and pretend like reality wasn't something she had to live in.

She'd barely had time to process that thought, however, before the tell tale ding of her instant message broke through the silence. Her eyes lingered on his reply even as her eyes watered and her heart clenched. People had been asking her the same question all day, and once she'd replied, some of them had even given her the same reaction, maybe in different words, that Torin had given her. But she'd been able to ignore them. She'd been able go through the day as strong as the rock they'd carved Rosa's name into. But somehow, someway, Torin had smashed her façade into smithereens. And it was probably because even though they'd never met in person, even though they were thousands of miles away from each other, even though it wasn't his responsibility to care, he was her friend. And a good one at that. So he'd managed tear apart her barriers with words printed on a screen. They were three simple words that she'd been blocking out all day, and yet after reading them for the twelfth time, she slammed her computer shut.

She tried to forget them, tell herself they were a lie, but even as she curled up in the center of her bed, they replayed themselves on the back of her eyelids for the rest of the night.

**No you're not.**

By the time morning came, her hair was an untamable mess, she had dried tear tracks on her cheeks, and the image of a girl with eyes like fire and hair like ink sat heavy on her heart.

._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._. ._.-._.-._.

_Sorry not that much Torin in this chapter, but I wanted to get something out, and I swear he'll be in the next, just bear with me._


	5. Chapter 5

_Hello again. I feel like I probably could have written this as a part of chapter 4, but I just finished this today, and I wanted to give you guys something as soon as possible. Anyway, tell me if this is okay, or if you guys see any way that I could have improved or done it differently. Anyway, enjoy! Also this entire chapter is Torin's POV. ;)_

_**Chapter 5: But Don't Worry Because Those Same People Will Pick You Right Back Up**_

**February 29****th****, 2011 **

Torin sat silently in front of his monitor, locked in a silent debate with himself. On one hand he could respect the privacy of the only friend he had on the outside world, on the other, he could once again dig through her life. Either way, he _knew_ that there was something wrong with her. She hadn't really answered him in weeks, and when she finally had it'd been a pitiful two words, and then absolutely nothing.

The silence grated on his conscience more and more as each hour ticked by, until finally two days after her impersonal reply, he was finally ready to crack. He knew Nel, and after 3 years of constant contact, he had a cause to be worried.

So for the past few hours he'd been mulling over his options. Because of his location, condition, and multiple other things what he could do was severely limited. But he could do something. Taking a deep breath, Torin dug around in his pockets for the key that would unlock one of his drawers.

Unlike the rest of his drawers, the one he'd decided to delve into was simply filled with miscellaneous things. Pens, sticky notes, and pieces of candy dominated most of the space. He smiled fondly as he caught sight of the small, decorative cookie bin Nel had sent him one Christmas. Of course the orange ginger cookies were long gone, but he kept it for sentimental reasons. On one particular sticky note, he found a set of digits. Nel had given them to him months ago; she had said that they were a precaution in case one of her many shipments of baked goods happened to get ruined.

Despite her consent that he could call her any time, even if he just wanted to talk, he'd never had to use them before, but he figured now was a good a time as any. He pulled out his phone and dialed in the number. It rang normally before going to voicemail, but he'd expected that considering his number was blocked.

He called four more times, stomach steadily sinking with each beep of her voicemail. Fisting his hand in his hair and cursing the absurdity of the situation, Torin prepared to throw it all to hell and use his skills to check up on her. Thus far he'd only delved far enough to make sure she was alive, but he was prepared to flit through her life to see what was really going on.

He didn't really want to invade her privacy again, but at this point it was necessary. If she'd given him a reason why she wasn't talking to him, hell, any reason would do, he'd have left her alone. But she hadn't given him one. She'd simply stopped all contact with him, and as much as he didn't want to admit it, that hurt. After all, friends like her weren't easy to find.

Before he began snooping through her life, Torin decided to give her one last call. At that point, Torin had given up all pretenses that she would answer. He was surprised, however, when on the seventh ring, he was greeted by a small voice that was all too familiar.

"Hello?"

Her voice was scratchy from obvious disuse, and it tor him up inside.

"Nel? It's Torin. You haven't replied in a while, so I'd thought I'd check up on you." Torin tried his best to force his voice even and keep himself from asking her multiple questions at a time.

There was a long moment of silence, and for a second Torin almost thought that she'd hung up on him.

"I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry." As she spoke her voice cracked, and her volume was so low that he almost couldn't hear her.

"Don't worry about it; I just wanted to make sure you were okay. What's going on?"

As she spoke, her muted voice only continued to crack, and it was obvious that she was pushing back tears.

"I just- I can't- I mean- I'm just not myself. I'm so, _so _sorry. I should have told you that I wasn't up for talking, I shouldn't have just left you like-"

It was there that he had to stop her. She wasn't thinking straight and he needed to calm her down.

"Nel, it's okay. You're okay. Can you take a deep breath for me?"

He listened as she did as she was told, and he heard what sounded like the rustle of sheets around her. After a moment, her breathing evened out, and she spoke in a small, toneless voice.

"Rosa's gone."

It took him a moment to sort through the sheer defeat in her voice before he was able to fully process what she was saying. Rosa. She was a friend of Nel's, one of her only friends in fact. The girl was more outgoing than Nel, but they'd been friends since they'd both been placed in the same foster home around the age of 8. From the way Nel had spoken of her, he could tell that they were extremely close.

"What do you mean by gone?" He tried not to imply anything in his tone, but the way she'd said the word 'gone' had made his mind travel to the worst of places. For her sake, he hoped he was wrong. He knew that she would blame herself, just as he knew that it would kill her. That kind of guilt was enough to break anyone. He would know.

"She got hurt. A few weeks ago. It- it was bad. Really, really bad. She fell into a coma, and they couldn't wake her up," at this point, he could tell that she was all but keeping herself from sobbing out her words.

"I stayed with her, for a long time. But they eventually told me to leave. Everyone kept saying how she was never going to wake up. I didn't want to believe them. After a while, they said that it was better to just pull the plug. Her funeral was two days ago. It wasn't fair she just turned 20 in January. We were going to finish college together. It's not fair, I miss her so, so much and I just-" her words were broken by a cry that crushed his heart. He could hear as she tried to muffle her sobs, and he wondered why there was no one there to comfort her. He wondered why, when she was tearing herself apart, that she was alone.

Torin wanted nothing more than to gather her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay. But he couldn't. So he settled for the only thing he could do.

"I know it hurts, Nel. I know what it's like to watch the people you care about leave you. Trust me, I know. And I can't tell you that it's not going to hurt, because the truth is that it will tear you apart and leave you in pieces. But I can tell you that you don't have to do it alone. So if you want to cry, then cry. I can't be there with you, but I promise that I will stay right here with you on the other side of this phone. No one should have to be alone when their whole world falls apart."

Nel managed to grind out a mangled sentence in return. He almost laughed at the fact that even as messed up as she was, she still managed to latch on to his own pains.

"Where you alone?"

"Yes," but he could blame no one for that but the demon that resided within him.

"I'm sorry," she replied. And then he sat, his heart in his throat, and listened for hours as she cried until she could do nothing but hiccup in her misery.

Finally, after listening to a sound he was sure would haunt him for days on end, the line went silent, and then she rasped out words that warmed him from the inside out.

"Torin? Are you still there?"

"Yes."

"I've been avoiding thinking about her so that I wouldn't have to face the world, but that wasn't helping. What you said, it made me accept the fact that it was only going to hurt more the longer I put it off. That's why I was crying, because I was just thinking of her. Of how she died, what would have happened if she lived, everything. I didn't say anything out loud because I can't, at least not yet. But one day, maybe I'll be strong enough to tell you about her. About everything. Now, though, thanks to you, I think I'm going to be okay. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Just know, anytime you need to talk I'm here. I enjoy your company, and I wouldn't be a good friend at all if I didn't stick with you in the bad and the good."

"Ditto. Although don't expect me to be half as good with my words as you."

Torin smiled slightly, and said something that he knew would make her happy.

"I think I found a recipe with fresh blueberries that would hold up over shipping."

To his delight, she laughed.

"Send it to me. I haven't left my room in weeks, I need sugar and flour to get me back on my feet."


	6. Author's Note

I've been getting a lot of reviews asking me to update, and as much as I'd like to, I'm afraid that at the moment I'm short on time. I actually go to school, and I'm in a special program that's not going to allow me any slacking. On top of my education, I'm getting a new bedroom set soon, which means I'm going to have to completely tear down my room and put everything back, which will take at least two days. _On top of that_, I'm helping my Nana rearrange her garage and house, which I predict will take _an unnecessary _amount of time. Oh, and last but not least, because of my program, I have independent study PE, which means I have to worry about trying to exorcise three days a week. Also, to be completely honest, I lost inspiration on all but one of my stories. (The one story that I was cranking out chapters for was Multifarious, which is a batman story. I have multiple chapters half written for the story, but as of now I'm going to _try_ and focus on some of my other stories.) I had no idea what direction any of them were going in, and it was tearing me up inside. Because of that, I took some time to think them over, and I'm glad to say that I now know what I want to do with them. I have solid plot ideas, and I'll start on them as soon as possible. Now in no way am I saying that I'm going on hiatus or anything, I just simply wanted you all to know that updates are going to be slowing down, and you guys have no idea how deeply I regret that. I know I promised updates soon, but it looks like that's just not in the cards. Though do know that I will find whatever time possible to write. I'll even start writing on my phone. I just hope that you'll all stick with me, and continue to give me feedback. I truly adore you all, and I hope to give you new chapters as soon as possible. I hope you all understand.


	7. Chapter 6

**GUYS! I MISSED YOU ALL. (Except that one reviewer who made me feel extremely bad about not updating, that wasn't cool. At all.) Anyway, here's a thing, I hope you all like it….It's kind of short…. Please review? They are the only thing that keeps me going. 3 Happy reading.**

**EDIT 10-8-14: I edited it slightly because I forgot to put the date, and I entered her age wrong in the text. **

_**.-._.-._.-._. .-._.-._.-._. .-._.-._.-._. .-._.-._.-._.**_

_**Chapter 6: Surprises, Surprises**_

**December 19th, 2011**

Penelope sat, half dead and hungry, as the seconds ticked by on the clock in the front of the room.

_'57 more seconds'_

This was her last class for the entire semester, and she was more than ready to be done with it.

_'42 seconds'_

After this she could finally start working towards the degree she'd been striving towards for years.

_'35 seconds'  
_  
She'd always had a fascination with numbers and breaking things down, and considering her _quirk_, it only seemed natural that she'd go for something in engineering.

_'23 seconds'_

But did she really need a PhD in the field? She _was_ only 20. Considering the fact that she'd most likely only use her degree for teaching, it would probably be awkward instructing students who were pretty much the same age as her...

_'15 seconds'_

It wouldn't be hard. She had a fairly fast (Even when not having _those_ times.) thought process. But the question was: Did she really want to spend all this time on a PhD?

'8 seconds'

She looked around at all the wary faces of her class mates.

_'5 seconds'_

Did she really want to resign herself to more stressed filled days for the next few years?

_'4 seconds'  
_  
She thought of Rosa, who'd tell her to go for it.

_'3 seconds'  
_  
She thought of Torin, who'd smile that killer smile and would tell her to do whatever she thought was best. Then most likely crack a joke that'd have her sporting a smile of her own.

_'2 seconds'_

She scrubbed her face and sighed.

_'1 second'_

"What the hell," she muttered to herself, "we only live once right?"

"What was that?" the guy next to her mumbled. Penelope flushed at his attentions, and pretended that she hadn't said anything at all.

The professor glanced at the clock, and turned towards them with a relieved smile. He was as ready to get out of there just as much as his students.

"Class dismissed."

When she got home she was in high spirits. Grinning to herself, she walked into the kitchen and immediately pulled out the flower.

As she did so, the kid sitting at the table glared at her. The other girl had hair dyed black, black nail polish, black clothes, and while Penelope was all for the fabulous dark color, the girl also had a sour attitude typical of an over angsty teenager.

The girl was nearing six feet tall, even at 14. Personally, Penelope thought she was very pretty, but she'd never tell her that. The girl was new to the system and mean to her core, so she'd probably punch her in the face for the compliment.

So she ignored her.

That is until the brat came up behind her and boxed her in. Light brown eyes ringed in over exaggerated black eye liner narrowed menacingly, and Nel simply blinked.

"Look, I've been watching you since I got here, for some stupid fucking reason that old blonde bitch loves you. She hates me for no fuckin' reason. So here's what's gonna happen, you're gonna leave your door unlocked so I can use your shit since that bitch won't buy me anything, and you're also gonna give me your snacks that you hide like a fuckin' pig since that bitch starves me."

As she said all this, Nel simply stared at her. She sounded dead serious, and Nel had to fight the urge to laugh. Ms. Liv didn't hate the girl, she just hadn't gotten any reason to trust her. Hence the fact that she hadn't wasted any of her valuable, hard earned money buying the moody, foul mouthed teen iPods and laptops. She had, however, been buying the girl food and clothes. She just hadn't felt that she'd earned Cheeots and chocolate and all the other crappy stuff the girl wanted to eat.

But instead of telling her this, Penelope decided to let do it.

To her left, standing in the kitchen entrance, was . Penelope smiled brightly at her, and the girl snapped her gaze in the other direction. Her mouth dropped open as smiled softly at her. This wasn't the first time something like this had happened, and Nel knew that when there was a new kid in the house, _always_ made sure they were never left completely alone with Nel. She was a pacifist by nature, and a fight would not have ended well.

Penelope slipped from under the girls arms as berated the girl with a smile on her face and a voice like ice. Sad that she wouldn't be able to bake her snacks, Nel walked quickly back to her room. There was no way she was staying in this kitchen any longer.

.-._.-._.-._. .-._.-._.-._. .-._.-._.-._. .-._.-._.-._.

The moment she got back to her room, she noticed the open window with Torin's distracted face immediately. Every time he'd sent her an invite for video chat, he'd simply waited for her response. This was new. She was slightly creeped out and oddly impressed for about ten seconds before she plopped down in front of the screen with one critical thought: _'Note to self: never leave cam uncovered when changing. _

Not that he'd ever want to see that.

Clearing her throat quietly, Penelope watched with fascination as Torin's emerald gaze sharpened, and she could tell he was now entirely focused on her.

"Hey," he said, friendly smile on display.

"Hey," she replied softly.

And just like that they settled into a comfortable silence as they studied each other. She hadn't been up for a face to face since their talk about Rosa all those months ago, and she was eager to see if he'd changed in the time since then.

He hadn't. Too green eyes, too pale skin, too full lips, and too white hair all came together to form one beautiful being that made Nel feel entirely inadequate.

Self-consciously, she brushed back one stray curl that had escaped from her tight fishtail braid, and she shifted uncomfortably as Tor's eyes followed the action.

"You're hair's longer," he said.

Penelope raised one eyebrow, and just couldn't help herself.

"I'm trying to become Rapunzel. Looks like you already beat me to the punch, though."

The words were quiet and quickly mumbled, but as always, the sharp man heard her.

"You're just jealous of my lustrous locks," he stated, lips twisted in a teasing smile.

She rolled her eyes at him, and held her hand to her heart in mock distress.

"You caught me. What ever shall I do now?"

He laughed, but kept up their charade.

"Tell you what, you send me another one of those pumpkin cheesecakes, and I'll tell the secret to silkiness."

Penelope let her sleeve covered hand hide her grin as she wiggled her eyebrows at him.

"Oh, so you liked it did you?"

"It was okay."

She gave him a pointed look that said _'I see BS and I'm calling you on it.'_

"Sorry babe, pumpkin's seasonal. You're gonna have to wait till next holiday season. "

She didn't mention that the cheesecake had cost her a butt load of money because it was a cold item going all the way to Budapest. She didn't want him to feel bad.

He frowned briefly before his eyes lit up once more.

"What about those little brownie things that you make with the chocolates in the middle?"

He looked so excited and she couldn't help but nod. Jesus but the guy had some damn good puppy dog eyes when he needed them.

"Awesome!"

Nel shook her head softly and just smiled, but then she asked a question that had been burning at her since she walked in.

"How'd you do, well," she gestured to her screen so he'd get the point.

He winked and gave her that sinful smile.

"A magician never reveals his secrets."

So she glared at him.

"Also you need better fire walls."

She glared harder. They had a staring contest for a solid five minutes, him smiling and her glaring.

"So how did your last day of class go?" he finally asked.

Still mad that he'd insulted her computer skills, she shrugged.

"Oh come on Nel, the only reason I opened up the window myself was because I wanted to be there and surprise you for your last day. Since I couldn't, this was the next best thing."

She didn't want to, since it was _still _an invasion of privacy, but she softened anyway.

"Thanks," she murmured, cheeks suddenly hot.

"Anytime. So do you know what you're doing for your internship?"

At this, Penelope could practically feel the tables turning. This time, she was the one with the smirk on her face.

Startled by her sudden mischievous expression, Torin looked at her warily.

"What?" he asked.

She couldn't help but giggle, and this made the pale man scoot away from the screen a few inches.

She was all out laughing now.

"Why do I feel like you're about to do something horrible?"

Nel shook her head, and simply grinned once her laughter died down. She couldn't wait to see how he'd react to this. She hopped he'd be happy. She sure as hell was.

Sleeve still in front of her face, shielding her smile, Penelope tried to still her features so she could appropriately gage his reaction.

"There's this _really _promising internship, and they've already accepted me. If I finish this, it could be a _huge _help to my career, simply because of the location. "

He snorted.

"They'd be fools not to. With an IQ like yours, you could get into anywhere. Where is it?"

She blushed at his praise and glanced away from the screen for a second to cool down. Then she took a deep breath to steel up her nerves. She closed her eyes, and counted to ten. Once she was done, she opened them and stared straight into Torin's emerald gaze.

"That's the really cool thing about it, it's out of state. Out of country really."

At this, Torin stilled.

"Where?" he asked, voice steady.

She couldn't help but smile.

"Budapest."


	8. Chapter 7

_GUYS. TWO CHAPTERS. IN THE PAST FEW DAYS. IM SO HAPPY. I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY, AND PLEASE FEEL FREE TO REVIEW ON BOTH CHAPTERS. _

_**Chapter 7: Ersatz Smiles**_

**December 19****th****, 2011**

It was official. Nel was acting odd, and it was starting to make him anxious.

Torin watched wearily as Nel stilled and began to take deep breathes. He had a twisting feeling deep in his gut, and he had no idea why.

Before he could question it, however, he was pinned by shinning brown eyes. He temporarily lost his train of thought as the joyful innocence he saw there captured him. He did latch on to her last words though.

"….Out of country really."

And those last words made him go rigid as he gripped the armrest of his chair harshly. There was no way she'd done what he'd thought she had. But the way she had been speaking, the excitement in her eyes…

But no, there was no way they'd ever be able to meet each other. He would never risk it. Having her that close though… He immediately stamped out the tiny flame of hope that had immediately sprung up inside him. As a maelstrom of emotions threatened to rage up, he did the only thing he could.

"Where?" he inquired, voice void of emotion.

She smiled at him, and his eyes were momentarily drawn to the dimples the action revealed. And then she said the one thing he'd hoped she wouldn't.

"Budapest."

He could feel the armrest in his hand break with a barely audible 'crunch'.

He ground his teeth and fought the urge to shout. He resisted calling her stupid, naïve, cruel; everything that he knew she wasn't. He fought the need to get up and tear his room apart. He wanted rip the demon from within him and send it to the deepest pits of the underworld. He wanted to go back and punch himself in the face for ever deciding making a friend was a good idea. But most of all, he fought the longing to get on his knees and beg her to come as soon as possible.

"Torin?" she said lightly.

In his turmoil, he'd simply sat and stared at her, gaze hard. Her soft voice brought him back, and he could suddenly feel the sharp bits from his chair digging into his palm through his glove.

As he focused back on her, he noticed that her smile had gone, and her usually smooth brow was now creased in worry. As he stared at her, his emotions begged to rise to the surface, and he pushed out the one thing he didn't want to say.

"Why?"

There was no context there, he knew. It could have meant many things. '_Why do you talk to me? Why where you the only one who caught my attention that day? Why can't I ever be near you? Why can't I ever embrace you in thanks for the treats you didn't have to send?' Why are you coming here? In truth, he meant them all._ He knew she only meant to answer the last, however.

"Why not?"

'_Because we can't meet. We can't do all the things I talked to you about. We can't stay up all night and play video games neither of us cares about. You can't laugh as I try and fail to bake. We can't marathon shows neither of us will watch without the other. We can't do any of the things I promised.'_

"You can't come and see me."

And then he watches as the emotions flit across her face because the girl was nothing if not an open book. Pain, rejection, resignation. He hated them all and he wanted to comfort her. Except he didn't know what to say. Sure, he'd done his best when she'd been reeling over the death of a loved one, but that he'd understood. This though? Here he had no idea what the fuck he was doing. Except maybe pushing away one of the only people who cared enough to talk to him at 2 am about nothing and everything.

"Nel-"

He was cut off by the loud beep that signaled the end of their audio connection.

As she moved back from her computer screen, she kept her gaze down and her sleeve over her mouth and he could practically see her withdraw inside herself.

He typed frantically.

**Tor: What happened?**

She simply shrugged, and Torin tried his best to pacify the situation, even as he struggled too. He knew she'd ended the connection herself. If he didn't do something soon, he feared that she would end the video as well.

**Tor: Look, I'm sick okay. I didn't want to tell you, but I'm really contagious. **

Her eyes widened, and for a second, it looked as if she'd stopped breathing. Then he saw anger light her eyes. She typed quickly, furiously. It only took him a second to realize his mistake in trying to tell her a half truth.

**010101000100000101001111: A while ago I wanted to learn more about you. I know you've already seen my files. You can't tell me you haven't. You were so secretive, and I knew it was wrong, but I did it anyway. I left your programs and everything alone for the most part, but that didn't stop me from noticing that there was nothing lying around about you. No medical records, no school records, no dental records, nothing. It's your business and I was wrong to look in the first place, but that doesn't change the fact that I did. It also doesn't change the fact that I know you're lying. **

Towards the end of her paragraph, Torin saw the anger leave her eyes. Instead, as she hit send, he saw self-disgust settle on her face. He recognized the emotion immediately, as it was one he saw on his own face all too often. She blamed herself for his rejection. He swallowed thickly, and almost laughed. Penelope had an IQ of 183, and she was by no means stupid. He should have known she'd worm her way into his system eventually. This time he did laugh. It was a slightly hysterical sound.

'_Girl didn't leave a damn trace either.'_

She was good. The only reason he'd even gotten into her computer was because A) She didn't have anything important enough on her computer to warrant her full attentions, and B) While she had brain power going for her, he had over 200 years of mechanical knowledge. He began to laugh harder at the thought. He was around when this first computer had been invented, yet this girl could do damn near as much as he could with _maybe _10 years of experience.

When he finally managed to calm down, Nel was looking down at her hands as she picked at chipped blue nail polish.

**Tor: I didn't want to lie to you. **

For a second he thought she wouldn't reply, and then she raised one hand to the keyboard.

**010101000100000101001111: Okay.**

And he knew she was feeling just as much as he was because okay was nothing but an acceptance of his slightly apologetic statement. Because he couldn't say sorry. Sorry implied that he wouldn't do it again, and at this point, they both knew he would.

**Tor: Are you going to ask what's going on?**

He didn't feel like waiting for her to finally ask the question he knew was tearing her up inside.

His reply shouldn't have shocked him.

**010101000100000101001111: No.**

**Tor: Why?**

**010101000100000101001111: Because it doesn't matter if you want to tell me and can't, or simply didn't feel the need to. It's your choice. Besides, I'm no one special anyway.**

And just like that Torin watched as she disregarded their friendship in order to justify his actions. He swore, and vowed to find some way to make it up to her.

**Tor: Nel, I swear I didn't mean it like that. Please, I just want you to think before you make such a big decision just because of me.**

And just like that he set her off again. He'd never seen her mad before, but it seemed tonight he'd managed to find all the wrong buttons to push.

**010101000100000101001111: If you think that I made this decision based solely on you then you are severely mistaken. I looked at every option that was available keeping MY needs in mind. Yes, you ARE the reason I looked into Budapest, BUT YOU HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY FINAL DECISION. As I said before, this program is extremely promising in regards to what I want to do with my life. **

Her grammar was perfect and her wording was stiff and he'd never felt more like an idiot in his life as he stared at a tiny girl who roared like a lion with the voice of a mouse.

Just as soon as she typed her feelings they'd seemed to disappear. Once again she was demure in her actions, and there was a red, ashamed tint to her cheeks.

They simply stared at each other, and then they both seemed to deflate.

**Tor: I'm sorry.**

They were pushing this off and he knew she was going to be so, so close to him in just a few short months and there was nothing he could do about it.

**010101000100000101001111: Me too.**

He glanced down at his arm rest, and the emotions almost overwhelmed him again. He'd need a new chair. And soon.

More importantly, he needed to fix the mess he'd made with Nel.

For now he'd do the only thing he could.

**010101000100000101001111: At least now you can send me a bigger variety of things now?**

It was stupid and insignificant, but she smiled for a second. A real, honest smile that had him smiling back.

And then as if she'd remembered how much he didn't want her friendship (Which wasn't true but he'd fucked up, and he had no idea how to change her mind.), the brilliance died. The corners of her lips were turned up, but the girl was shit at lying and it seemed she couldn't fake a smile either.

**010101000100000101001111: Yeah.**

He should let her go. He was poison, disease. He would never be good for her. Never _good enough _either. But gods did he want her. Her friendship, her love, he wanted everything.

**Tor: Will I ever be able to fix this?**

She seemed surprised at his question, and he thought he saw the tenseness she'd had in her shoulders start to disappear.

**010101000100000101001111: Maybe.**

Her smile was still forced, he was still disease, and she still looked as if she blamed herself, but they'd fix it. He'd fix it. He'd have to. Because as much as he hated it, he was selfish. And maybe, just maybe that was part of being disease, especially because he'd learned firsthand that affliction could be all consuming.


	9. Chapter 8

_So I'm a horrible person all that long wait and this is what I gave you guys. SMH_

_Honestly this should maybe might make sense once we get some of Torin's POV in the next chapter. I honestly have no idea if this is good, and I know the end is rushed, but please, please, please review. I feel so bad honestly here's almost 3,000, the second half containing __**CITRUS.**_

_Also only half proofread smh._

_**Chapter 8: Shatter Me**_

**May 4****th****, 2012**

Nel hated heights.

Fish loved water, food was the best thing ever, the sun kept the earth from freezing, Fifty Shades of Grey was the shitiest book she'd ever read, and she hated heights. As far as Nel was concerned, all of these things were facts of life. Which was why when her plane landed she was ready to burn her damn book and find someone who was willing to marry her to the ground so she'd never have to leave it again.

Her fear of heights was also why she didn't call Torin the moment she landed like he'd asked and ignored all of his calls until she was safely in the apartment she'd found to rent last month. Sure, she felt bad, but she didn't want to have to explain to her friend why exactly she hated heights when he heard just how shaky her voice had gotten.

She knew they'd have that conversation one day, but that day would not be any time particularly soon. In fact, if she had her way they wouldn't talk about it for the next hundred or so years. Her plan to achieve this involved copious amounts of sweets.

Deciding to enact her plan sooner rather than later, she dropped her bags on the floor of her sparse room and pulled out a thick comforter to curl up in on her sparse bed, then pressed the first number on her speed dial. After their little… Interesting…. Conversation… a few weeks ago, things had gone back to normal. Honestly, if Torin hadn't tried so hard, things still would have been weird for her, and she kind of regretted that. But all was well now. Torin had soothed her. Convinced her that he actually really did like her.

She still didn't know what was going on with him, but she didn't need to. As long as they were fine, she didn't need to know much at all.

"Penelope?" he asked in that smooth voice of his.

"Yo," she mumbled back.

She closed her eyes as she tried to get comfortable.

"Are you okay, did something happen?"

He sounded worried, and for a moment she felt kind of bad.

"Ah, no. I was just tired is all, I'm sorry."

He was silent for a moment, and she hoped he wasn't mad.

"It's fine," he started," you just usually call me when I ask."

She huffed at him in response.

"Mmm, I'll make you some cookies in apology."

"What happened to that cheesecake?" he asked, laughing lightly.

She opened her eyes just so she could properly roll them, heedless of the fact that he couldn't see her.

"I'm too jet lagged to make you a cheesecake," she tried in defense.

She could almost see him pouting with those stupid pink lips of his.

"But you can still make cookies?"

"Yup," she said, making sure to pop her 'p'.

"Well I suppose I can let you get some sleep now if it means I get a cheesecake later."

He sighed dramatically and she grinned. Honestly, she should have stopped there.

"It's not so much that I'm tired to be honest."

"Then what is it?" he asked.

She tried to roll her shoulders, but she was still shaken from her plane ride, as odd as it was. She was still too anxious.

"I'm just really, uh," she flexed her fingers, feeling the appendage shake as she did so, "tense."

"Ah," he said thoughtfully.

"Mhm," she responded, even though she hadn't really needed to. She reached down and prodded at her calve, trying to relax the muscle.

"Go get a massage then," he said, as if it was that easy.

"Too broke," she stated, shaking her head.

"You spent most of your money on that apartment didn't you?"

She hmmed in approval at his assessment. Ms. Liz had been nice enough to set up a savings account for her, and she had a little bit of money from both her father and mother that she'd planned to save for college. Since she'd gotten scholarships, she hadn't really used it. As a result, she'd had enough to get her apartment. While yes, she did have money left, she was adamant about using it only for bills. Torin knew that.

"So what, you're just going to sleep it off?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrow at this, not understanding why he was so adamant about it.

"I guess…" she said after a few seconds.

"So you're really not going to do anything?"

"Nope," she said once again, sighing. At this point, she did kind of wish she had the money for a massage. Although truth be told, she didn't want anyone touching her.

"You know there are ways you could relax by yourself," he said, almost offhandedly. It was like he was distracted, and she briefly thought of asking him if she should call back later.

"Like what?" she inquired, taking the subtle bate.

"I don't know; just get yourself off or something."

At this, her heart damn near skipped a beat, and she could say nothing. And then all at once her laughter came bubbling out.

"G-geeze, man," she breathed, laughs breaking up her words," you s-sure are c-commanding."

She could tell he was grinning, and was just as amused as she was. He was helping her relax in his own way.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," she replied, laughter finally beginning to simmer down.

"How so?"

She screwed up her face and tried to force her voice to go as deep as possible, which in reality wasn't very deep at all.

"Make me a cheesecake Nel, go to sleep Nel, get a massage Nel, go jack off Nel."

He cracked up on the other side of the line, and she laughed right along with him.

"One of those things does not belong," he said.

She snorted and rubbed wearily at her thigh to heat up her hands. She hadn't turned on the heater when she'd come in.

"None of them belong," she replied.

"True. Although I have to say the masturbation stands out a little bit."

The absurdity of the conversations they had sometimes astounded her.

"Just a lil' bit. Although I've got to say, you'd make a killing at phone sex. Got the Dom thing down," she mumbled, trying her best not to bury her face in the mattress. How she managed to say these things was something she still hadn't figured out.

He laughed, rich and deep.

"Oh? You think so?"

She rubbed her hand over her face, half trying to rub away her flushed face.

"Yeah, you're enough of an asshole for it."

"Thanks," he said dryly.

"Any time my friend," she shot back.

"What do you say, wanna be my first customer? Just to be clear I'm wiggling my eyebrows seductively here."

She did her best to choke back her laugh. It didn't help much.

"Sure, I'm thoroughly seduced," she said, now very curious as to what ridiculous pickup lines and things her friend would come up with. Though to be fair, at this point she was hiding under her covers even though she was alone in the apartment. Not even the dust particles in the air needed to see her blush as far as she was concerned.

She listened, smile on her face as he cleared his throat.

"So… What are you wearing?"

She grinned, remembering the other time he'd asked her that question. This time, however, she decided to go with the straight up truth. She wasn't going to make this game easy for him. If he wanted to wax poetic shit about her clothes then she was going to damn well make it hard for him by telling the truth.

"Jeans, green t-shirt."

He was silent, and for a second she thought she had him beat. And then she listened to his voice and suddenly she regretted walking into the god forsaken trap had started as a simple 'game'.

"Really?" he said, tone lower than what she was used to. Normally his voice was pleasant to listen to, but now? _Now every word went right fucking through her._

"Uhm. Err. Yeah. Yes," she ground out, trying to find her bearings. Little things always threw her. Things like voices that didn't sound how they should. Torin knew that, the ass.

"Mmm, I like your t-shirts."

This was fucking ridiculous.

"Why?" she asked. She had to know what bullshit he would come up with.

"You always get larger sizes, but no matter how large you go, I can always see the curve of your breasts. Kind of hard for you to hide such pretty tits from me you know? I don't think I much like it."

Wait what.

"What?"

"I said I don't like when you hide your breasts from me. I think I want you to take your shirt off."

Holy hell, but she was in shock.

"Tor-"

"I'm waiting," he purred, cutting off whatever she had to say.

It took her a second to realize her mouth was hanging open, but when she did she made sure to shut it. She sat up, and horridly tried to say something again.

"Okay, you wi-"

"Sweetheart, this isn't over until I say it is. Now I thought I asked you to take off your shirt?"

She had no idea how the hell to respond to that. If he'd called her a nerd she could've have given him a thirty page typed lecture on how he was absolutely correct and then turn around and tell him exactly why he was one too. But this? Hell no.

So she improvised.

"Ah, okay."

There was silence for a few seconds, and then

"Well?"

"Well what?" she asked him dumbly.

"I asked you to take off your shirt. You haven't done it yet, so I'm not going to ask anymore. I'm telling you. Take. It. Off."

His voice was hard and there was a bite to it that had her shivering. She rubbed nervously at her thigh and glanced uncertainly around her apartment.

He was just trying to psyche her out right? If she just played along they'd both be laughing in the end. Yeah, that's what was happening.

"Err, okay, it's off," she said awkwardly.

"You know damn well I don't like being lied to," he growled at her.

She couldn't help but flinch.

" But-"

"Do it. Now. I'm only giving you one more chance."

She didn't know how he knew she was lying. Her laptop wasn't set up, and there were no cameras in her apartment. She'd checked, almost hoping he'd play that kind of game with her. It would have been fun, trying to disable his cameras. And a lot easier on her nerves too.

But he hadn't chosen that game. He'd chosen this one for whatever reason. And now there was a threat of punishment in his voice if she didn't do what she was told. He was nowhere near her, she knew. Yet she did it anyway. She did what she was told.

She put her phone on speaker, set it on her lap, and pulled off the t-shirt she'd donned for her plane ride. He couldn't see her. Didn't really know if she'd taken it off. It was fine, she'd needed to get out of her clothes anyway.

The cold air of the room raised goose bumps on her skin, and she shivered. She lifted the phone back up and settled it by her face.

"I did it," she whispered.

"I bet you look so pretty right now, so soft and warm."

She glanced down at her body. Well, she certainly was soft.

"If I was there, I'd let my fingers trail up your side, and stop right at the edge of your bra. I can imagine your softness, all wrapped up in lace for me."

She gulped, and glanced down.

"You are wearing lace today aren't you?" he asked," You love it. I remember you told me. What color today?

See this right here is why she never spoke to people. The simplest shit could come back and bite you in the ass.

"Yes. Green," she told him, closing her eyes in mortification.

"I bet it looks lovely with your skin tone. That's another thing I adore about you. You're all warm browns. Your eyes are like chocolate, and your skin reminds me of cinnamon. All the freckles. I'd never thought that would be something I'd be attracted to, but I could trace trails on your body all day."

She was embarrassed at the hitch of her breath from his words. She didn't want to admit that they made her skin tingle and a slithering heat work its way down her body.

"Gods Nel, I could go on for hours just trailing my tongue around your curves. But you know what I'd really enjoy?"

"What?" she asked quietly.

"I'd love it if you let me play with your nipples. I'd lick and nip all night if you let me. Would you like that?"

His voice was gentle, teasing. She could picture it in her mind's eye, and when he mentioned nipping, her core fucking _throbbed_ and she couldn't hold back the tiny whimper at the back of her throat.

To her horror, the smug bastard caught it. Caught the noise, the timing, everything. He always did.

"I'll take that as a yes. Especially to the nipping. Do you like that Nel? Is that what turns you on, biting?"

She was too far gone at this point _not _to answer.

"Yes. Yes, please."

What she thought the please would accomplish was a mystery, but she threw it in anyway.

Torin seemed to like it.

"You're so polite to me. If I was there right now I'd return the favor, I promise. I'd move my hands from the edge of your pretty bra and slip my fingers beneath, play with your cute little nipples. I want you to do it for me. I want you to grasp your pretty breasts for me."

She was so going to hell for this, but she did it. She set down her phone and took off her bra, letting her heavy breasts fall free. It felt wonderful being out of the restrictive material, and she immediately went to massage the soft skin. Imagining his hands on her, as wrong as it was, made the action feel all the more pleasurable.

"Tell me, are you nipples light or dark," he asked, voice husky.

"Between," she replied simply.

He hummed his approval, and Penelope let her thumbs brush lightly over the sensitive skin of her nipples at the sound. The feeling was instantaneous, and it had her rubbing her thighs together.

"I have to go soon, but I need you to do something for me first."

She was both happy and disappointed that his news.

"Okay."

"I want you to cum for me."

She jolted at this, and her eyes flew open.

"What!" she asked, voice cracking.

He laughed lightly at her.

"I want you to put your hand on your pretty little pussy for me and cum."

"I-"

"Now."

His voice was commanding again. And how could she refuse?

Her fingers were slipping between wet folds before she knew it, and she was rubbing soft circles around her clit, Torin's soft encouragements spurring her on.

When she came, it was hard and quick, just as it had been the only other few times she'd done it. She felt her body relax afterwards, and her breath even out.

Torin heard all of this.

"I hope you're feeling less tense Nel. If you need help again just ask. Call me when you get settled in."

And then he hung up.

She'd never done _anything _like that before. It was frightening, how willing she'd been to indulge. She was in shock for a solid 30 minutes before she curled up in her bed, scared, ashamed, and with ruined panties.


	10. Chapter 9

SO HERE'S A THING I RAN OUT OF TIME. DOES IT SUCK? I HOPE NOT, IM SORRY. PLEASE REVIEW MAYBE?

_**Chapter 9: Breaking Point**_

**May 4****th****, 2012**

He couldn't have stopped the words coming out of his mouth of he wanted to. And that was the thing; in all actuality, he didn't want to stop. As wrong as it was, he didn't want to stop.

He wanted to keep going, keep pushing. He wanted to see how far they could go before she broke. And she would, because that was the way between the two of them.

They pushed each other. Subtly, yes, but they did. They pushed and weaseled into every crack and crevice the other had, and then pretended like they hadn't.

He pretended he'd never looked into her best friend's death. She pretended she never tracked his movements online. They pushed and prodded and crossed all kinds of boundaries- all with the other's unvoiced consent. How they'd reached this point he'd never know.

All he did know was that today, against all of his better judgment, he was pushing. The oddity was that for once, she wasn't pushing back.

Instead of joking her way out of it, or getting angry at him, or being disgusted even, she was going with it. She was hearing his words and heeding his commands and he didn't know if that was the worst of everything she could have done. He had a hunch that it was.

The tiny part of his mind, the rational part, was screaming that this wouldn't be something she would normally be comfortable with. She just wasn't very comfortable with her sexuality in the first place. He'd learned that early on.

Sure, she'd talk to him for hours on end about the merits of being a porn star, but the moment she herself was brought into the conversation she clammed up. That all on its own was an indicator that what he wanted, what he was doing, wasn't something she could handle.

He'd done it anyway. She'd called him just before one of his moments with Cameo, and he hadn't had it in him to ignore her. She'd neglected to call when he'd asked, and he'd been worried.

So instead of letting Cameo help him with his aching need, he'd told her something had come up and picked up his phone.

He should have known better the moment her soft little voice met his ears and he could feel his demon start to stir.

Usually the cursed creature left him alone unless there was a person in the vicinity. Now, after so many years, disease rarely did even that. He'd thought it odd that disease was stirring now, when he was most definitely alone.

But he ignored it.

He ignored it and tried to speak to Nel like he wasn't nursing a hard on that was getting worse with every word she spoke.

He ignored it and tried to tell himself that Nel's teasing was _not_ flirting because the pretty girl with innocent eyes and a shy smile would never do that.

He ignored it and tried to push away the thoughts of showing her just how _commanding_ he could be when she brought it up in that slightly timid, slightly joking way of her's.

And then that not so little voice dominated his mind and told him to _touch, touch, touch_ and suddenly ignoring his baser urges wasn't something he felt like doing anymore.

The thing with Pandora's demons was this: avoiding the impulse to listen to them was extremely hard, but possible. However it was only possible if you _didn't_ actually want to do what they said.

And he'd be a damn liar if he said he'd never thought of what it would be like to cup her smooth little cheek in his hand and brush his lips against hers, if only for a second.

It wasn't odd for him to think that, as he often had the same thought when Cameo was around. Pretty much any female in fact. Though with most, he usually just wondered what it would be like to touch their hand, or run his fingers through their hair. It was his biggest shame; how starved for touch he was. But it was an unavoidable fact. He wanted what he wanted, and he couldn't do anything about it. So he grudgingly accepted it.

What made him uneasy, however, was just _how much_ he wanted when it came to Nel.

If asked, he could probably pinpoint the exact time his thoughts shifted into darker realms. It wasn't long after they first started talking, and he often bemoaned that fact. Maybe if they hadn't met he wouldn't be stuck feeling like more of a monster than he usually was. The moment, one he treasured greatly, involved laughter, shy smiles, and a night full of ease with no strings attached. A night where he could forget about his demon and just be Torin. A night like every other one he'd had with her since.

Most of the time he wanted to simply be able to sit with her during their late nights and talk face to face. Other times, when he wasn't watching himself, he wanted to slide his hands under the heavy sweaters she wore and feel her softness warm his palms.

And at that moment, he wasn't watching. He was aching and needing and he rationalized that she could use the release too and he let himself tell her the bare minimum of what he wanted to do to her if given half the chance.

He spoke low and soft and let his need leak through his voice like the desperate wreck he was, and reveled in her response.

He could only imagine what she looked like. Since ever doing anything like that in person was pretty much impossible at the rate he was going, he instead imagined what it would be like if they were on video. The thought had him nearly groaning and he'd carefully pulled out his length in order to stroke himself.

He'd let his head lean back and had continued to talk her through her own pleasure as he'd sought his.

For a second, he'd felt bad, knowing he'd crossed a boundary. But then he heard the distinctive sound of feminine climax and he was gone.


	11. Chapter 10

_Hey guys! I'm so excited! Want to know why? I'll give you a hint: I'm working on the next chapter and I have the next five or so pretty planned out! Okay so that was the whole reason I'm excited but shhh. When I have the chapters planned like I do, it means they're going to get done pretty soon! Granted they won't be long… But I have a feeling you guys will like them. This far, I've spaced my chapters out pretty far apart on the timeline, but from here on out we'll be around 1,200+ words each, but maybe a week will pass here. I know, going from years to weeks is a pretty big thing, but I'll be updating more so… Yeah, anyway sorry for the shortness… Drop me a REVIEW? I live on them tbh._

_**Chapter 10: Pretty As A Picture (But Baby Watch Out, It'll Kill You)**_

**March 3****rd****, 2012**

The first time she starts having the dreams, it goes something like this:

She comes home from work, and because she hasn't really slept in a couple of days, and because she's got nothing that needs her immediate attention, she shucks off her day clothes, puts on a T-shirt and pajama bottoms, and huddles beneath her covers.

It's somewhere around 7:00 pm, but she's exhausted and she's out before she can even think of shooting Torin a message for the night.

Normally when she dreams, the images are slightly blurry and extremely whimsical. Ice cream screaming at her not to eat it as she fell into a cherry river? Sure. Giant sentient books befriending her and taking her back to their home planet? Hell yeah. Miniature elephants chasing her through a maze of knives? Frightening but fine. Odd things were fun; she'd found that out early in life.

But finding herself barefoot in nothing but a T-shirt and jeans surrounded by an innocent looking forest? Well that was a little too normal.

What wasn't normal, however, was the fact that not only could she see the varying foliage in extreme clarity, she could also _smell _said foliage. The very fact that she could even find these things odd was odd in itself. She had never been a lucid dreamer. Here and now, though, well she could specifically remember falling asleep.

She let out a gentle breath beneath her palm and finally relaxed enough to look around. In doing so, she becomes slightly startled by what she finds.

She herself was standing in a meadow, surrounded by a dense assortment of trees. Above her, the sky was clear, yet a murky mist floated just above the tree line.

Besides the sky, it's the poison ivy she recognized first. The harmful plant was everywhere; wrapped around towering trees, woven between branches of smaller trees with ripe berries.

'_I'm pretty sure some of these trees don't even grow with poison ivy,' _is what finds its way through the mess of her mind.

But, she decides that since she was having a dream, she might as well just let it go.

She walked carefully closer to the surrounding forest, taking note of the various flowers that were quite literally _everywhere. _They were all bright and beautiful in their own way, but none of them seemed to belong together. It's not that she knew for sure, since plants had never really been her thing. It's more of a feeling that some of the plants were never meant to be found together that plagued her. Some of them looked more tropical, but she knew that she'd never seen them before, and she wondered how they'd even shown up in her dream. Subconsciously, she knew that she could have caught a glimpse of them at one point in her life, and the image may have stuck.

For a second more, she wonders why it's _those_ particular flowers that have come together. While plants had never really been her thing, they'd always been _Rosa's._ Rosa had been fascinated by botany, and as a result Nel _had _spent her fair amount of time picking up odd plant books for her friend. But that was a while ago, and sometimes a while could seem like years when you didn't want to think about someone. Years could burry things if you let them. As she finally let herself think about her friend, think about the good things, some of the plant facts Rosa had spouted on slow days of studying came back to her. And then she really _looks _at some of the flowers in the meadow, identifies Belladonna, Bloodroot, Larkspur, and foxglove, and it all clicked into place.

"I'm standing in a fucking poisonous forest," she breathed.

She just _knew _that every plant there probably caused some type of sickness or disease. She knew, and yet as she stood there, looking at her pristine surroundings, she couldn't help but admit one thing.

"It always is the things that kill you that are the most beautiful."

She's not talking to anyone in particular, but she can't help but feel that her words have been heard. She's also not strictly talking about plants, but she won't dwell on that. Not even in her dreams

The towering trees seemed to taunt her, and suddenly Nel's hands itched to grab hold of the ancient looking bark.

'_When's the last time I climbed a tree?'_ she wondered.

But of course, the answer came easily with a pair of brown eyes so like her own, and she winced. There was a reason she often avoided forests and parks. But here, now, suddenly she… Didn't want to. She walked towards the nearest tree, careful to avoid the overgrowth of poison ivy, and gently laid her palm against the wood. The rough texture inspired the same feelings in her, even after so many years.

Before she could stop herself, she'd grabbed the lowest branch and hoisted herself up. And then she did it again. And again. And she continued to do so, even as her soft hands tore and bled and stung from the rough bark beneath them.

She continued to pull farther and farther up until she could almost feel sweet summer heat on her back. She kept going until she heard a laughing voice ring through the air. If she focused hard enough she could feel a palm, rough with calluses from hard play, wrapping around her ankle. If she closed her eyes, she could almost imagine she was five years old and Peter was right there with her, racing her to the top.

And then she opened them, because she could go no farther. There were no more sturdy branches for her to grasp.

"I win," she whispered, "I got here first."

Except no one will shout from above her on a branch that'll break soon that she's too slow and she lost. Her hands are bloody and hurting and no one will come sit by her and teach her a better way to climb because Peter was not there and she was just dreaming.

Her hands are hurting, and now they're burning and with a start she realizes that like everything else she's looked at, the tree was probably poisonous.

"Peter would have known better," she whispers as she stares at her hands.

She hadn't said his name in over 10 years, and it tasted foreign in her mouth. But she was dreaming, so she didn't stop herself.

They're bubbling slightly now. She can see oddly colored sap or juice or _whatever_ in the wounds and now she realizes that she'd crushed some of the berries growing on the tree on her way up.

"Who's Peter?" a gravelly voice whispers from everywhere and nowhere. There is something wrong with it, and it makes her shiver. Makes her _sick. _The voice is deep and _wicked _and she doesn't know what the feeling it incites but it's oddly familiar, and not exactly _wrong. _She knew she was dreaming, _knew _it. But she was fucking scared, and she whipped around so badly that she lost her balance and her hands where hot and burning and blistering and bubbling and she was _falling _and-

She woke up. Her heart was beating double time. Her legs ached; as if she'd just had a particularly vigorous climb through a tree. She had that pins and needles feeling in her hands, and she lifted them to wipe the sweat from her brow and when she did so, she realized that they smelled sweet. Almost like berries.

But that doesn't make sense and she concludes that she just had a nightmare and it had made her lash out in her sleep.


	12. Chapter 11

_Yo guys! So I posted a short chapter on Monday, and I'd like to thank general zargon and galyardt for being so supportive and reviewing! I'm sorry it's been taking so long, really. Hopefully this 4,000 ish word chapter makes up for it? Idk guys, I really am sorry for the wait, I know how frustrating it is. Anyway, Tor's POV is next chapter, so thanks for your patience and please REVIEW! Any and all feedback is welcome!_

_**Chapter 11: Get Into My Head (The Door Is Closed, But You Have An open Invitation)**_

**March 9th, 2012**

Her first week in Budapest, Nel learned a few very important things.

While most of the people she met knew English, learning a little bit of Hungarian probably wouldn't hurt. It would be difficult, but it wouldn't hurt.

Being a shy female in the engineering field didn't earn her any brownie points with her male boss.

Bringing cookies to work with her was a sure way to make friends with the one other female doing the internship with her, and a few of the guys as well.

Night clubs were not her scene.

Torin was not one to be ignored.

And last, but not least, the entire situation probably wasn't good for her. At all.

Now, while these things may have seemed separate, they really intertwined.

It started on her first official day of work. She'd walked into the office, expecting to be given random office work and such for the first month or so. In all honesty, the entire reason why she had taken the internship was due to the fact that after the first month, she would pretty much be left to her own devices. At its core, her job would consist mostly of monitoring the various projects her boss had going both in and out of the country. She would collect the data from his various workers, organize it, correct any mistakes, and send it back to him for further analysis and whatever else he wanted to do with it. For the first month she had to work right under the man in charge at his office so that she could get the handle on things, then she would be scott free.

She _had _been given office work, but that work had come with looks of disdain and underestimation because of her obvious lack of male genitalia. She would have written the looks off as a dislike of her inexperience in the field if her boss hadn't taken one look at her comfortable, yet new enough to pass for work jeans and said 'At least this one has the sense not to spend so much time on her appearance.'

Then he'd said some other things in Hungarian that she just _knew _were probably offensive. Hence her sudden need to learn the language. If she was going to be insulted, she'd very much like to know _how _she was being insulted.

Her boss's comment had confused her, to say the least. She'd thought that since he'd accepted her into the program, he'd at least respect her a little more. But he hadn't, and that was whatever because she knew for some people respect had to be earned. So she was damn well going to earn the right not to be thought of as a joke if it was the last thing she did.

On the other hand, she'd actually managed to make a new friend. Somewhere between 4 dozen cookies (that was never to be mentioned again), and a few borrowed pads, the tall, fun loving Lilian Arvay had become Lili who told her off color jokes whenever their boss wasn't looking.

Out of everything, that was probably the highlight of her move. Lili , with all of her rambunctious energy, was just upbeat enough to want to monopolize the friendship of the one girl she'd be around for the next two or so years. A pretty smart move considering the other three people they worked with consisted of an oversexed moron who was more charm than smarts, an introverted nerd who reminded Nel uncannily of herself, and some bright eyed, bushy tailed pretty boy that gave her a headache every time he opened his mouth. Lili seemed to like him though, so that was something.

It was also something that Lili managed to convince Nel to go out with her to some god awful club that night. Something really stupid that Nel later questions at the end of the day when she's ready to binge on a giant bag of chips and Disney movies.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When she gets home, she's exhausted and in need of just a little pick-me-up before Lili can drag her to some club. For most people, a pick-me-up would be a shot of something that was just a little bit inebriating. For her, it meant getting dusted in flour.

Before she could even wonder what she was going to make, her tired body was reaching for the flour on the cabinet and the sugar to its left. Seeing the two ingredients together always gave her a little jolt of happiness even though she'd intentionally put the two baking staples in a convenient location. Years of having to climb on the counter at Ms. Liv's had embarrassed her enough to learn that high shelves were just not her thing; nor where deep cupboards. Both of which the lovely apartment she lived in seemed to have.

She snorted as she pulled the flour container towards her and popped open the lid to see how much was left. It figured she'd downsize from a house with a kitchen that was not short people friendly to an apartment with the same problem.

But not everyone was five foot two, so she'd just have to live with it. Once she was satisfied with the amount of flour, all the while eyeing the two extra bags she had stashed on top of the fridge, she checked the sugar.

'_Well that__'__s a little low,__'_ she thought as she stared at the sweet substance that only filled about a fourth of a jar, _'__Torin would probably say that fourth of a jar was more than enough for a single person.__'_

And then her jaw clenched and her belly rolled and she put the sugar back on the counter because she was _not _going to think of him.

She'd begun to run recipes through her head by the time she pulled the step stool out from where she kept it wedged between the fridge and the counter. She used said step stool to haul the one extra bag of sugar she had off the refrigerator just in case.

She continued to sift through recipes as she put the stool back, and got out various cheap mixing bowls she'd picked up on her second day in the city.

'_Chocolate chip cookies? Too basic.__'_

She took out a whisk.

'_Almond tart drizzled with chocolate ganache?__'_

She pulled out her phone and set it on the counter, glancing at the clock as she did so. She had about four hours.

'_Probably not enough time.__'_

She rolled up the sleeves on her button down.

'_I could make a lemon cake. Or chocolate. Or apple honey. Or apple-'_

Her phone buzzed, lit up, and the name 'Torin' flashed across her screen along with a really ugly picture an albino fish.

'_I could make apple pie pops. Torin likes those and they__'__re easy to send.__'_

And not thinking of him wasn't working because his stupid pale ass wouldn't _let _her not think of him. She'd been trying her hardest to ignore him for the past week. Now that she was home, where no one could see her, hear her, judge her, she could admit it. At least to herself, she could admit it.

He'd emailed her twice, and she left both unopened. He'd texted three times, and she left them all unread. He had tried to video once; her breath had caught so bad that she'd pushed her computer off of her lap, away from her sight just so that she could breathe again.

It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to him. He made her laugh, he bantered with her, and he listened to her petty problems. He was her friend; someone she cared about. So it wasn't that she didn't want to talk to him. God, the truth couldn't be more different.

The reality was that she didn't know what to say. If he ignored what had happened, then she could carry on. They could joke, she could give him more good (and bad) anime to watch, and she could send him baked goods just to hear him praise her skills like the ultimate baker she was.

But that was the thing; she knew he wouldn't just let it go. She just had this feeling deep in her gut that told her Torin, for all of his sly secrecy, wasn't about to let this stay a secret between them. He wasn't about to leave the fact that he told her to quite literally get herself off _for _him inthe dark with the rest of the things she pretended she didn't want to ask about. He wasn't about to let go of the fact that she had actually _listened_.

And, ah, there it was. The one thing she couldn't quite figure out. The _real _reason she had no idea how to proceed with their easy comrade. She'd never, _ever _in her life done anything like that. Which again, would have been okay if it wasn't for the fact that she'd never even _thought about it._

She'd touched herself, yeah, but very rarely. It wasn't that she didn't feel anything, it was just that she never really had _time _for it.

If she wasn't at school, she was either doing homework, baking, or talking to Torin. Those things, while not much by themselves, were pretty time consuming. Sure, she got horny. She was 20, and hormones were an actual thing. A thing that seemed to happen at the most awkward time, and yes, having an aching clit while talking to Torin was just as awkward as it was in the middle of a lecture. Or at least, it had been. Every time it had happened, which had been few and far between, she'd done the same thing she did if she got turned on in the grocery store. She carried on with whatever she was doing and ignored the fuck out of it. That had always worked for her, which was great.

When she was alone in her bed, with nothing else really _important _to do like read an updated manga or book, she gave in sometimes. And here was another thing that worried her: during those times when she just needed to release some pent up frustration, she'd tense and then get that fleeting wave of pleasure that always left her sleepy.

Except with Torin, that wasn't what happened. _Nothing _went as it should have. To her, Torin had always been off limits. She could acknowledge that he was most likely the most beautiful person she'd ever seen. She could come to terms with the fact that she enjoyed his digital company over that of many other people. But she _never, ever _thought of him in a sexual way. She just… _Couldn__'__t._ But that day, he'd used words in ways she'd never imagined him using them before, and she had quite literally _gotten off _all because of his _fucking voice_. And that right there, that was _wrong. That_. _Was. Not. Her._

And she had no idea _what _it had been.

So now, as she stood staring at her phone, she could do nothing except hit the bright red 'decline' button and feel like an absolute bitch. Which basically meant that she was definitely going to make the apple pie pops with every intent of sending them to Torin.

And then not do it because more than anything, she was scared. And this was exactly the same thing she'd been doing all week.

Trying not to grind her teeth, she gently picked up her phone and placed it face down.

She had 4 hours to make a batch of apple pie pops and then throw on some new clothes before Lili came to pick her up. She couldn't waste any more time.

-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-._.-.

It took her all of 45 minutes to realize that the only enjoyment she was going to get from the sweat scented, dimly lit club came in the form of one slightly tipsy Lili on the dance floor. The girl was lithe in five inch heels, with long legs showcased by a bodycon dress that accentuated every curve. Nel knew that Lili looked good, just as every one else in the club did. The number of male eyes, and even some female eyes, glued to Lili just went on to prove Nel's point.

Once Lili had realized that Nel was perfectly content to stay at the bar and save them seats as well as watch drinks, she had finally given up on getting her in the middle of the stifling crowd. She did stay close so she could shoot Nel smiles and funny looks, though.

At the moment, Lili was moving her hips to some beat Nel didn't recognize, while a guy in front of her tried desperately to catch her attention. It was pretty funny considering every now and again she'd run her hand down his chest, and he'd turn his face to the ceiling like he was praising Jesus. It looked like some heavy seduction scene from a movie aimed at desperate homemakers. And then Lili would turn towards Nel's place at the bar and cross her eyes while sticking her tongue out, and suddenly Nel felt kind of bad that the poor dude was being used strictly for silly entertainment and there would be no 'happy ending' for him tonight.

So far Lili had caught Nel off guard eight times with three different guys. There was even awkwardly spit soda on Nel's black T-shirt to prove it.

"This girl is insane," Nel muttered under her breath as she turned back around to try and get a safe sip of her lemon lime soda. She couldn't help but smile slightly as she sipped her drink, however. Sure, clubs weren't her thing, but chilling with Lili? That was actually turning out to be pretty damn fun. Although she did feel bad for all of the guys that didn't realize that Lili was playing with them.

'_Ah well_,' she thought distantly as she glanced around, '_they probably just saw her long ass legs and wanted to get between them anyway.__'_

Once she was done with her drink, Nel turned back around to scan the crowd. It _was _pretty dark, so her sucky eyesight wasn't the best at the moment, yet the flashing lights where enough. She could see people writhing in the crowd; some having fun, some desperate and hoping to find just a little bit more. She glanced down the long bar, sucking her lip gently as she did so. In the time she'd used to look away, a young woman had seated herself next to her.

She actually had that American look to her, but Nel supposed that she shouldn't question it since she was sure she did too. She also had flawless honey kissed skin, dark hair, and dark eyes to match. Nel thought her pretty, but it really was the fact that they looked really close in age that had her comfortable enough not to scoot away. Well, that and the fact that she looked almost as nervous as Nel had felt the moment she'd walked into the club.

At that moment, the girl completely tensed and turned to her with sharp eyes. Almost immediately, Nel felt her cheeks heat and she tried to give the girl a small smile, but it mostly just turned into an epic fail and she turned as quickly as she could to the opposite side.

She could still taste the sweetness of the soda on her lips, and suddenly she got a craving for sugar. That was nothing new; having something slightly sweet and then ending up craving a whole cake. What was new, however, was the fact that she was in a club and she couldn't exactly go to her fridge to feed her awkward food obsession.

"Ergh," she mumbled to herself.

Before she could even think about it, she was reaching into her bag to pull out one of her precious life savers: See's brand chocolate lollipops. They were yummy, and she'd pretty much made sure to have at least three on her at all times when she wasn't home.

At the moment, just thinking about the chocolate-y deliciousness made her giddy.

And then her hand closed over a lollipop shaped item, and she pulled it out and her stomach dropped right back to the pit it'd been visiting so often for the past week.

She found herself staring out one of the pristine apple pie pops she'd thrown into her messenger bag earlier. She ran her finger over the stripped wrapper, and bit her lip. She'd thrown the mini pies in her bag on her way out of her apartment, figuring that if anything she could give a few to Lili. She had, after all, spent a good chunk of time on them. The crust was perfectly golden, the sticks where some she'd found online that had a cute polka dot pattern, and even the twist tie was glittery. Over the top sure, but she'd always liked making things look as good as they tasted.

Torin had enjoyed the aesthetic when she'd sent them to him the first time.

'_Fuck,__'_ she thought.

She was sitting in a club, having fun with her friend, and yet here she was thinking about Torin. Again. No matter what she did, everything always came back to him…

Suddenly, she realized that she was gripping the stick of her treat far too tightly. For a second, she felt her grip flexing; and then she released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She was a fucking mess, and it was really starting to piss her off.

As she sat in the club, surrounded by so many care free people, something pulled taught within her.

All at once, she ripped the wrapper off of her treat, took a bite, and then pulled out her phone. The buttery apples and cinnamon exploded on her taste buds, and she sucked in a harsh breathe through her nose.

"I can't fucking do this anymore," she whispered to no one and everyone because it wasn't like anyone could hear her anyway.

Burying every instinct that screamed at her to hide from the world and never come out, she turned back towards the bar, snapped a picture of her half eaten treat, and sent it to Torin with the caption 'I made you a thing, but I got peckish.'

Her hand was shaking by the time she was done, and she felt so _stupid, stupid, stupid_. They needed to talk about what had happened. They needed to discuss why it could never occur again. They needed to speak about why she'd avoided him for a week. They needed to go over the fact that not talking to him bothered her way too much.

She needed to suck it up and stop being such a fucking coward but she _couldn__'__t._ She'd used up a week's buildup of courage on a text message that meant absolutely nothing, and she was so fucking _stupid._

"Are you okay?"

The mostly calm and slightly worried voice was the only thing that made her realize that she was shaking. She locked her body before it could continue, buried her feelings before they could consume her, but she couldn't hide the embarrassment on her face when she turned toward the girl beside her.

"Oh, I uh, I'm okay," she told the girl.

At that point, she was mostly sinking into herself, and she brought a hand up to rub softly at the back of her neck. The area was hot and she thought that it was really stupid too.

A dark eye brow raised and Nel knew she was being called on her shit, but the girl had the good grace to nod and gave her a sort of reassuring half grin.

"You're not strung out on anything are you?" the girl asked.

Nel could tell by the humor in her voice that she was trying to joke; to make conversation. Truthfully, she didn't want to talk, but honestly? She needed the distraction. Lili was too far away, and she really didn't want to get up.

"Nah, the only thing I'm on is glucose," she eventually responded, trying to keep the waver out of her voice.

She picked up her half eaten pie pop and waved it around for reinforcement.

"Sounds good to me," the girl shot back, grinning.

Nel noded, and figured she should offer her name.

"I'm Penelope."

"I'm Gilly," is what she got in response, but Nel could tell that it was almost hesitant, "No offense, but you don't look like this is something you do often."

Nel couldn't help but snort, and this time the smile on her face was genuine. She took in the girl's young face, comfortable capris, and plain T-shirt and responded with

"Neither do you."

"Touche," Gilly laughed gently," honestly I just know a guy who's into this sort of thing. I wanted to know what the appeal was."

Nel could understand that. The club they were in was more for those really into the party scene.

"A friend dragged me out," she told her.

After that, they settled into a silence that turned out to be really pretty awkward.

'_This,__'_ she thought, _'is why I don__'__t like talking to people.__'_

The only reason that she and Lili even seemed to work had to do with the fact that Lili could talk enough for the both of them. This girl though? Well she looked to be struggling for words.

At that moment, if Nel had known what would happen next, she probably would have left.

"Um, those pies look really good. Where'd you get them?" Gilly asked, apparently for the first time really taking in the sugary snack.

Nel, of course, couldn't help but take one out and offer it to the girl as she spoke.

"I actually made them for…" she stopped herself there, she couldn't really say it.

Hesitatingly, after staring for a long moment and taking multiple glances at Nel's own half eaten pie, Gilly eventually took the offering.

'_Smart girl.__'_

Just to reassure her, Nel went back to eating her own.

"Are you sure? I feel like someone I know had these once," Gilly stated as she carefully unwrapped it.

Nel looked back towards the crowd behind them to check on Lili; she was dancing with a new guy. Nel figured she was fine since she was smiling.

"I doubt it, I had to order the wrappers and things online."

Gilly still looked slightly doubtful. At that point, Nel figured that there _could _be a possibility that some bakery used the same wrappings. But that was only a slight possibility and she was _not _sour at the thought.

Gilly took a bite, and her eyes immediately lit up.

It was probably a testament to how much of a child she could be that Nel's first thought was _'Hell yeah I__'__m so good at this enjoy my awesomeness.__'_

"Okay, this is actually delicious and I _know _I've had one before. Do you sell these? Like, online or anything?"

Nel may or may not have swelled with pride.

"Nope," and it was a testament to how a little praise on the right things got her going that she answered without flinching," I do send them to a friend every now and again. If he's selling them, I might have to kick his snowy butt."

"Snowy?" Gilly asked.

It's a valid question, but Nel could hear the slight catch in her voice. She was also still buzzed from the praise of her baking prowess though, so she ignored it.

"Yeah, he's pretty pale and he's got white hair. I'd call him white out if his eyes weren't so bright."

She had no idea why that would make the girl suddenly look at her like she'd grown a second head, but it did. Gilly, it seemed, could go from zero to one hundred in a heartbeat, because she'd been doing it throughout their entire conversation. Vaguely, Nel wondered what had to have happened to her to make a reflex like that.

She stopped wondering when the next words flew out of Gilly's mouth, though.

"You're human right?"

She really did try not to scoot away too fast. Really.

"Um… What… Else would I be?" Nel questioned.

Probably sensing that Nel was genuinely really fucking confused, Gilly blushed lightly and glanced away.

"Nothing, just uh, the friend you know?"

Nel couldn't help but be apprehensive.

"What about him?"

Gilly met her gaze straight on.

"Those bright eyes of his, they wouldn't happen to be green would they?"

"Torin," the name slipped quietly from her lips before she could swallow it.

They were in a club, with lights flashing, and music pounding, yet the silence between them was deafening.

And then her phone buzzed where she'd set it on the bar. She could still feel Gilly's gaze on her when she carefully lifted the phone up to check the message.

'Damn. You do know you have to make me a whole new batch right? No exceptions.'

Torin had accepted her silent plea. She'd ignored his worry; practically spit on it really. Yet here he was, carrying on as if nothing had happened. All because she'd practically asked him to. She wanted to cry, because she should have known he would do this for her.

She set her phone down.

"You know Torin?" Gilly whispered.

She couldn't look the girl in the eye. She didn't even know if Gilly had heard her. She didn't really want to know. Or did she? At the moment, she had no idea what she wanted.

All she knew was that she had Torin back. She had the secretive man who had become her best friend without ever really letting her get to know all of him. She knew what he let her see.

But in front of her? Well she had a feeling that Gilly was the key to everything that was just under the surface.

"Nel!"

She flinched at the sound of Lili calling her name. She turned to see the blonde waving and pointing towards the exit. It was time to go.

When she got up, she'd made her decision. She'd respect his privacy.

"Yes. No. I don't know. I don't think so," she told Gilly in lieu of a goodbye," but I want to."

To an extent.

She'd respect his privacy to an extent.


	13. Chapter 12

Guys I'm so sorry! I know I said I had this planned out, and I do! It's just that I've been so short on time and distracted with my batman story and school... Anyway, this oncoming month is finals month for me, and I'll try my best to get out another chapter soon, but for now have this one? It's not quite what I wanted to give you, but well... Two months felt like too long and such awesome reviewers deserved something.

_**Chapter 12: Because Baby, the Most Devastating Wars Always are Fought at Home**_

**March 17th, 2012**

Torin was sitting in his room, as per usual, munching on a slice of pizza when his entire day took the front seat on a roller coaster and took the fuck off.

It was around 3 in the afternoon, and he was running his usual system scans when his security system lit up to signify an unknown presence. The person was only at the front gate, so he wasn't fully concerned quite yet. He finished his slice of pepperoni pizza before he pulled up the video feed for the front gates on his main monitor.

And then he felt his late lunch rising back up as he was met with the sight of Gilly taking a sizable package from a smaller girl.

Now, this wouldn't have been a problem had the unknown girl not been entirely too known to _him_. The girl had a simiple hoodie on, and she stuck her hands in her pockets as she conversed with Gilly for a solid fifteen minutes, smiling softly every so often. He had no idea what to say or even do, but eventually Gilly appeared to say goodbye and she started her ascent away from the gates and back up to the mansion.

For a second, Penelope simply stood there and watched her go. He thought that when she took her hands out of her pockets and turned that she'd leave.

Instead she pulled out her phone, stared at it for a few seconds, and then stared in the general direction of his camera. He knew there was no way she'd be able to see the thoroughly hidden device. He watched as she glanced back at her phone one final time as if assuring herself of something, and then tilted her head upwards, pushed her glasses up, and squinted directly into his camera.

"Sorry," she mouthed clearly, face an odd mixture of embarrassment and resolve.

And then she walked away.

He hadn't truly spoken to Nel in a while. He knew it was because she was no longer comfortable with him. He knew he'd crossed a line. He knew he needed to fix it. He knew she was trying to let him.

Now, as he watched her walk towards a nearby cab, he knew this was her way of saying 'You've crossed your line, now I've crossed mine. We're even.'

Only they weren't. The give and take he'd unintentionally started was severely unbalanced. She'd given so much of herself in the beginning, wanting nothing in return, and he'd let her. He'd let her knowing that whatever little bit he gave was worth so much more simply because every little bit led her one step closer to catastrophe. With him, there could be nothing but an unhappy ending for her. She had no idea what she was doing; what she was getting herself mixed up in. To her coming to his door was nothing, but to him it was the final barrier.

He'd toed the line by telling her where he lived, but he'd never imagined she would actually go and _find_ _him_. She was too shy for her own good and he'd thought that in its own twisted way, her shyness would save her. Perhaps had he not given into his baser urges, things would have carried on in the startlingly safe grey area they'd resided. But for reasons he couldn't fathom, he hadn't been able to resist, and now he was paying for it.

Torin knew that he was constantly being watched; all the Lords where. It was a fact that he despised, but one he'd come to accept with a cynicism that he was completely unapologetic for. It was this aspect of his life, however, that had every bit of logic in his being screaming at him to cut everything off with her.

Without a doubt, _someone_, good or bad, had seen Penelope. Subconsciously he knew that his 'watchers' had probably noticed her prescience some time ago in varying degrees of acknowledgement, however this situation made it somehow all the more real. This made it all the more _dangerous_.

Yet even as he plotted ways to cut her out of his life that would not hurt either of them, as he told himself he was not fond of her, as what little he had left of his conscience whispered that she was better off without him, he knew he wouldn't let her go.

He couldn't.

He'd had his chance the night he met her, and she hadn't really been safe since.

Suddenly a sharp knock echoed throughout his room, startling him from his thoughts.

He had a sinking feeling he knew exactly who it was.

He had prepared himself to spew some inane explanation to Gilly when he opened his door. Instead, he was faced with a medium sized box at his feet, and a completely relaxed girl turning the corner at the end of the hall.

Stomach churning, he picked up the box and read the small, white note attached.

_'She's nice. We can talk about it another time if you want.' _-Gilly

They'd definitely have to talk, but Torin was in no way ready to face the mess he'd created.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

That night, when he goes to sleep, he finds no reprieve from his emotional torment.

The moment he closed his eyes he was greeted not by blessed darkness, but by pure light.

He'd closed his eyes lying back in his bed, but he opened them stopped slightly forward, in a sitting position. His hands were tightly clenched together and his elbows rested on his knees. His entire body felt tense.

Yet for the first time in a long time, he felt... Free.

He stood carefully and stretched, feeling his muscles pull taught and his joints crack. The feeling was one he savored.

With his movement, however, he noticed just what he was wearing: skin tight pants, and nothing else.

Being in so little should have put him on guard, but in this dream land, he felt oddly at ease. He figured it had something to do with the fact that his layers where a symbol of his demon, as they kept him from harming the world with his plague. Without them, he felt as if he where fighting back in some way.

Deep down, he knew it was a useless fight.

The space he'd come to acknowledge as belonging to the monster inside of him felt desolate. The aching in his body was gone. It was almost as if for the first time in centuries, he was feeling what it was like not to live with a demon.

Only he knew that was a lie, just as he knew the world around him was nothing but a dream. As he took in the lush forest, he knew it had to be. Yet despite the illusion of perfection in front of him, he knew better than to trust it. He knew perhaps best of all that deadly things came shrouded in beauty, and even in his own mind he would not let himself be fooled.

He walked closer to the vibrant forest, but stopped once a familiar feeling began to creep up on him. Torin fought the urge to snarl as his skin itched and his entire being ached to simply touch. The feeling was not new, yet it was not entirely familiar. He often ached for the simplest touch, but the feeling intensified and twisted into something sinister whenever Disease got involved. The feeling, _craving_ really was something he only experienced when Disease was screaming at him to infect the nearest living being; to take a victim. Somehow though, the gnawing need he felt was different. Normally it felt as if Disease was trying to claw his way out; the compulsion to spread sickness rolling just underneath Torin's skin. At the moment, it felt as if Disease was trying to push _in_.

But the feeling, odd as it was, still made Torin scan the area for whoever Disease was gunning for. Whoever it was had to be within his range of sight since Disease wouldn't react otherwise, but as his sharp eyes sought out every shadow and crevice, he found no one.

He was completely alone, and yet Disease was tearing into his captor as if they were standing in the center of a crowded arena.

He rolled his shoulders in an attempt to relieve some of the tension as Disease began to push harder. Torin grit his teeth and looked harder, moving back into the center of the clearing. Disease wasn't doing this for nothing, there had to be _someone_ there.

_'Find her. Touch her,' _Disease whispered enticingly in the depths of Torin's mind.

"Shut the fuck up," Torin found himself snapping.

He now knew that whoever Disease was after was a female, and that only made his will to resist stronger. It seemed as Torin steeled himself, however, Disease's want intensified.

'Find her! She is near! Find her! Find her!'

Disease's usually sickeningly calm voice was becoming frenzied as his shouting became louder. It was getting to the point where Torin could barely hear himself think, and he wanted to claw at his own head just to get the demon to _stop_.

He opened all of his senses, knowing that if he tried to get away without knowing where the female was, he might very well run into and damn her to an agonizingly slow death. Even in his dreams, he was not willing to take the chance of having to watch another sicken by his hand.

So he sought out the barest hint of movement. He opened his ears, yet only found unnatural silence. He breathed deeply….

And caught the heady scent of cream and brown sugar.

Suddenly multiple things happened in rapid succession.

His heart beat doubled.

He felt his mouth water.

Disease's incessant taunting turned into a startling whine.

His fingers twitched, aching to caress the unknown.

A shot of pure fire traveled down his entire body, settling in his groin.

He woke up.


	14. Chapter 13

Wow it seems like I start every chapter with 'I'm sorry'. It's true every time, though. I really do apologize :/

For some reason it just takes forever for me to get these chapters out, and I really regret that. I'm going to try and work on them more, but half of my summer is already gone, which is insane. Before summer I had finals and I didn't have time, but when I finally got some I just failed you guys ;-;

Anyway, I haven't given up so expect updates, slow as they may be!

Also this has officially been up for over one year! Whoo! Thank you to all who have stuck with me since the beginning and even after Torin got his story! I love you and I hope you all continue to enjoy my mediocre writing and story on how Torin could have found love. (Personally I like Keely, and she'll be in this story as a good friend, but idk I didn't like her for Torin because A) I like my heroines to just be good ol' humans and B) Since I already had this going, I kind of fucked up myself for Torin's story… never again shall I ruin myself like this.

Please Review!

_**Chapter 13: Fatigue And Disquiet Do Not A Lady Make (Good Thing There Are None Here)**_

**March 18, 2012**

She tries not to mention her daring trip the next day.

It wasn't because she was scared, or indifferent, or even angry. It was because she simply didn't know what to say. When it came to Torin, Nel was beginning to draw a blank more and more lately.

It was like their entire relationship was at a juxtaposition. She'd spent countless hours conversing with him, but it was like every moment ceased to be. She knew him, yet she didn't know who Torin was at all. He was her friend, yet at times she wasn't so sure.

Torin, while he never really changed, was there as _she_ did. Though Nel knew she hadn't changed much since she'd met him, she could see that she'd become more aware of the world around her. As a result she'd simply...been able to understand everything about Torin she'd subconsciously ignored about him before. She'd justified everything weird about him in the beginning. Now, she let herself wonder. Everything with him was in its own little box for her, outside of the erratic flow time and life.

Sometimes she questioned if he even existed.

There was just too much she didn't know about him, too much that seemed surreal... Yet she knew that she wasn't going crazy.

Torin was just as alive as she was, and the mystery that went with the man made her oh so powerful brain short out. She'd never been one to push things past their limits, and now that she was in a place where she probably needed to, her nature wouldn't allow it so easily.

Despite all this, however, she didn't do the smart thing and simply...let him go.

She had too few loved ones left in the world to do that, and so after a long day of reprogramming new computers for her boss, she went home and left him an instant message.

She IM'd him, and she resolved to simply not mention her foray into the forbidden the previous day.

010101000100000101001111: I wasn't aware the sound of someone's voice could incite a headache until I walked into work today

She wouldn't worry her self sick over his reply; she simply didn't have the strength to do so anymore. Instead, she set her laptop on her bed and busied herself with a quick shower and putting on her pajamas.

By the time she had settled back on to her bed with a hairbrush in hand, she'd received a reply.

Tor: I smell a story in this... Vid?

She nearly wanted to sigh in relief as she felt a tautness she hadn't even been aware of melt from her form.

When she'd been taking classes, this was something that she and Torin would do every now and again. She'd gathered that he didn't get out much, so he enjoyed hearing about her daily interactions with the human populace. She rarely had anything to say about her day since she kept to herself for the most part, but when she did, Nel simply indulged her friend.

Since she was halfway through a brush stroke to her curls and she didn't feel like reworking the brush through her thick locks, she left the brush there as she opened up her camera program. Nothing short of a hurricane would dislodge it unless she herself pulled it out at that point.

As the signal tried to connect, she nervously dragged the tip of her nail over her keyboard, finding solace in the tiny 'click' each key made as she hit a ridge. She was afraid that the sight of him would break down every wall she'd put up to try and make things normal between them again.

When she saw amused green eyes, however, she knew she shouldn't have worried.

"So did you give up on your hair, or is that the newest style?"

He was obviously referring to her still hanging brush, and there was amusement within the tenor of his voice and she grinned easily with her response.

"Who could resist a fad this fabulous?"

His laugh made her grin all the harder before she brought her hands back up to her hair to work more knots out.

"So I take it you had a rough day?"

Apparently liking her idea of multitasking, he'd shifted his gaze to the left and she could hear the click of a keyboard.

_'Always working on mysterious things, that one'_

She made a small humming sound as she worked a particularly stubborn knot before she answered.

"Not rough, really," she started," just... Busy I guess. I had to reprogram computers."

Torin snorted.

"And that took you a long time?"

She heard the slight push of his ego in that tone and she was quick to stomp it down. He thought he could have done better and not been so 'busy'.

"I did the entire building Torin; there were over two hundred computers and company laptops."

At that, he stopped whatever he was doing to give her an appraising look.

"You did them all in one day?"

She rolled her eyes, not quite understanding why he couldn't get it through his thick skull that she was significantly better with electronics than he thought. She let him pretty much have free reign with her stuff because she trusted him not to fuck anything up, but she could most defiantly fry his entire system if he decided to hack into her computer.

She supposed she _was _partly at fault because she still hadn't let him know that she knew he hacked into her IM to delete conversations he didn't want saved. He thought she didn't know about a lot of stuff he did. Ah well. He'd learn some day.

"I designed a program that worked sort of like a virus. I basically emailed it to everyone in the building and once they opened it, it got into the individual hardware and installed the proper programs. After that I still had to make sure the settings were what they needed to be, but I saved myself some time."

He was silent as he stared at her.

She stared back. She didn't blast through her schooling with nothing to show for it.

"You designed and executed a virus that could move through the servers at company that specifically creates new tech for computers, all in one day?"

The way he was looking at her was making her squirm, and she felt a blush rising up.

"Yes?"

Apparently seeing her discomfort, he snapped out of whatever had gone over him and turned back towards his other monitors. As always, his room was dark and the screens in front of him have his pale skin an unearthly glow. Though it looked oddly sickly, she thought it suited him.

"Okay then, that's great. So what's up with the headache?"

Pulling her knees up to her chest, she leaned back a little and once again left her brush so she could focus on Torin a little more.

"Just one of the other interns," she murmured," he's kind of a chatter box.'"

"Sounds like you," he smirked, though his face now held a hint of what looked like worry. What we he was looking at must not have been very pleasing.

This time, it was Nel's turn to snort.

"Oh yeah, that's me, resident..."she trailed off as she watched Torin's entire body go ridged and his face morph into an expression she'd never seen before"... bigmouth."

She wanted to ask if he was okay, but before the words could form in her mouth her screen was going dark.

"I've got to go," was all she got before she was left cold, staring at where his face should have been.

He'd had to cut conversations short before, but never like that, and almost never while they were on video chat.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't worried.

**.-._.-._.-._ .-._.-._.-._ .-._.-._.-._ .-._.-._.-._ .-._.-._.-._**

The feeling had only worsened by the time she was able to drift off to sleep, and closing her eyes only to open them to towering trees didn't help.

No, the moment she saw the lush forest, an irrational feeling of apprehension bloomed in her gut. It was irrational because she _knew _she was dreaming, she _knew _nothing here could hurt her, yet she was still weary.

"Why the fuck..." she found herself muttering as she registered that she was once again in the center of a meadow, only this time she was sitting down, palms lying on warm earth. Her attire had changed as well; this time she was in a simple white dress that fit her loosely, cinched at her waist with a thin leather strap, and stopped just at her knees. Her feet were once again bare, but she didn't mind that so much. She _did_, however, mind the dress. She wasn't too into dresses, even in her dreams.

She still had no idea what part of her brain was producing the images before her, and as a result she was more confused than ever. Hell, she shouldn't even be able to _be _confused in a dream.

Except she was. She was confused, weary, and somehow _still _tired. She didn't even know it was possible to be tired _while sleeping_. But then again, her sleeping habits were jacked so she wasn't all that surprised by that one.

She took a deep, steadying breath as she dug her fingers into the ground. The soil was soft, and gave easily beneath her fingers. She pulled one of her hands out of the dirt and noticed the rich brown color and the slight dampness on her fingertips.

"Well that explains all these big ass trees," she said offhandedly, eyeing the plants that had proved harmful in her previous dream. Rosa used to bring home plants and put them in both of their rooms with warnings of keeping the soil damp so that they'd grow. She smiled softly at the thought of her friend.

Then she choked on a squeak when she heard a gravely laugh and felt warm air _directly on the back of her neck._ She couldn't even turn around before the urge to get away had her scrambling forward, nearly face planting as she tried to get up. When she finally got her footing she turned around, still moving back, only to see… nothing.

She was worried about Torin, and still exhausted from her day. She did _not _need a nightmare at that moment. Well, she didn't need a nightmare anytime, but one right then would have really sucked.

"Can we not?" she said softly, twisting her dirt stained hands up into the sides of her white dress. She wasn't sure pleading with herself not to screw her over was going to work, but she figured with all the other weird stuff she might as well try.

And then _something _responded and she figured that she should try new things more often.

"Why?" that strange, disembodied voice whispered.

She shivered and suddenly regretted even saying anything. That most definitely didn't sound like her, nor did it sound like anyone or anything she'd ever seen before. It was gravely, but seemed to slide over her with a silky quality that made her wish for Dorothy's slippers so that she could click her heels and be home. Well, she was technically already home, so she wanted to be on a different messed up dreamscape that she could actually _understand._

"Well?" the voice asked again after a few moments of tense silence.

The thing might as well not have asked, because she really didn't want to answer. In fact, she was getting ready to go and climb a tree again and see if she could recreate the fucked up experience that woke her up last time.

She took a tiny step back after narrowing her eyes and sweeping the clearing, looking for any sign of life besides the vegetation.

Not two seconds later she almost sprinted forward when what felt like _claws _drew lightly across her back.

'_NopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNope,'_ practically served as background music in her mind (her mind's mind maybe? She really didn't know. If she thought too hard about that, she was going to give herself a headache) as she ran towards the other side of the clearing.

"What's the matter little one?" the voice, which she somehow knew was most definitely male, purred at her.

He sounded threatening to her ears, but despite that she couldn't find the will to be scared. Hesitant yes, but something told her that she wasn't going to get hurt. She didn't want to believe that; she knew better than to trust anything or anyone explicitly without prior knowledge. Hell, she had trouble trusting Torin completely even though she gave him so much leeway.

But she wasn't scared.

"Who are you?"

She chose to counter his question with one of her own instead of answering him directly.

He let it happen.

"I am Disease," he said, almost as if she should have already known.

She had no idea what he meant by that.

"What?"

There was another one of those rough chuckles and Nel shifted awkwardly.

"You should enlist my host to answer your questions," Disease drawled.

The mocking element of his tone went on the long list of things she didn't understand.

She wanted to ask what the hell was going on, but she settled for a more pressing matter.

"Where are you?"

For one heady moment, Nel thought everything was going to finally start making sense.

"I'm right here," he seemed to whisper.

She blinked, and then she knew she was either some type of high or there was something seriously wrong with her, because there was only one word that could describe the being in front of her: demon.

In less than a second, Nel took in the attributes that would mark the creature as demonic. The lethality exuded by insanely sharp horns was only dampened by even sharper looking claws, and even then she wasn't sure whether she was more worried about the claws or the _fangs_. Disease seemed to have a mouth full of them and every one shined a pristine white, which she found odd considering teeth like that usually had blood dripping off of them, staining them crimson. As if _that _wasn't fearsome enough, he had to be nearing seven feet tall, not counting the horns, and his wings probably had a span that was longer than she was tall.

On top of _that _is skin, or scales, or _whatever _seemed to reflect any light, giving him an unearthly glow. The surface itself appeared to be a mix of shifting green and purple hues. Unlike Barney, however, this creature could pull it off. However, despite looking like he just stepped out of five kinds of hell, to her odd mind… he was wickedly beautiful. True, there was something about him that had her stomach churning, but that did not change the fact that Disease was almost… pretty, in a morbid way.

Of course that didn't stop the low keening that had been building in her throat from reaching higher and higher until the battling fear, revulsion, and awe she'd been feeling burst forth.

In short, for the first time in years, she _screamed. _

Her body, so used to her soft sounds and even softer voice, couldn't handle the sheer intensity of the sound she was releasing, and as a result, it hurt.

She didn't know what was going on.

With her dreams.

With herself.

With Torin.

She was confused, and lost, and for once her mind _couldn't _help her out because _she _was the problem and it was so, so easy to fix a breach in a firewall but she could never seem to fix _herself._

And so filled with the terror of everything she should have felt from the beginning of her dream, but didn't, Penelope screamed.

She screamed until the startled demon who called himself 'Disease' disappeared from her sight.

She screamed until the poisonous forest that had brought up hidden memories dissolved around her into thick, green smoke.

She screamed until she could feel her lungs seizing from too little oxygen.

She screamed until she woke up.

Then, she stared into the darkness around her as her dry throat burned, the skin torn apart by the shrieks of a sweat soaked girl who couldn't explain just why she was so afraid.


	15. Author's Note 2

Hey guys, I'm really sorry to say this but I think you guys knew it was coming: I'm putting this story on indefinite hiatus. I'm not completely giving up on it, which is good news, but when I started I just didn't have the drive to write it like I do with my Batman story.

Becuauseof recent events, I've come to realize how much I have invested into my story Multifarious, and it isn't fare for me to leave you guys hanging like this. More importantly, it isn't fair to ME as well. These stories are little snippets of what goes on in my head, and its disastrous to try and pull myself too many ways at once.

At the end of August, I experienced some trouble with plagiarism of my Batman story, a story which I have put endless hours of time into, a story that means so, so much to me. The other author and I worked things out, and we came to the understanding that they'd have to change some aspects of their story, but the entire mess evolved when the other author's followers began to send me hate for standing up for myself. I handled it, but I realized a lot in the process. It wasn't until I had to handle the situation that I realized just how much I have going into Multifarious, and I think that's why I need to let this story be. I just don't have the passion for it that I do for Multifarious, and that's a damn shame. For fandoms like this, my interest comes and goes and I'm sorry about that. Really, I am. If I ever have the urge to write more for this story, then I most definitely will, but for now I'm going to pull all of my focus into multifarious.

Thank you for sticking with me, and I hope I can give you guys more chapters in the future. This isn't goodbye, it's just an explanation. I appreciate every last one of my readers more than anyone will ever know.


End file.
